“I know, Jerry, that you are as human as the rest of us, if not more so.”

“I'm sure you can understand. Doing the kind of show I'm doing, it's mind-boggling. There's…”

“Rupert Pupkin: Well, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. Jerry Langford: So did Hitler!”

“Rupert Pupkin: I'm gonna work 50 times harder, and I'm gonna be 50 times more famous than…”