“Morticia: My baby is ill, and my husband is dying. Oh Mama, what shall I do?
Grandma: Well, you have a black dress.”
More from Paul Rudnick
“Walter Kresby: You're even better at sex, don't deny it. Joanna Eberhard: I wasn't going…”
“[to Gomez] I'm just like any modern woman trying to have it all. Loving husband, a family.…”
“[to Debbie] You have enslaved him. You have placed Fester under some strange sexual spell.…”
“[to Fester] You'll meet someone. Someone very special. Someone who won't press charges.”