"My perfect Valentine's day? I'm at home, three cell phones i..." — Randall Einhorn

Quote
Catalog

My perfect Valentine's day? I'm at home, three cell phones in front of me, fielding desperate calls from people who want to buy one of the fifty restaurant reservations I made over six months ago.

— Randall Einhorn, Dwight Schrute, and Rainn Wilson

PDA

valentine's day Holidays humor Evil Manipulative Reservations

More from Randall Einhorn

View all quotes

Quote
Catalog

Sometimes I feel like everyone I work with is an idiot. And by sometimes I mean all times.…

Quote
Catalog

Oscar Martinez: I am dying to know what's in there. Andy Bernard: Yeah, I know Oscar; we…

Quote
Catalog

I haven't had so much fun since seeing Zooey Deschannel at the Coacharilla music festival.

           WKM               &WK             W W         M      W      WWW WKW          W W            W           W       W K&W  WM  &WK  W
           W&W W WKW W WKW    W  W WKW WMW   W W WWW W W WW WWW  WW&   MW   &W   W W W &W WW W W W W   W W W  WW   W W W   M W&MWMWKW  W   W W WK
           W   W WKW W W W    W  WW &K WKW   W W WKW W W WW  MW  MMW   MWW W W   W W W MW WW W W W W   W W W WWW&  W W W   WK&&W  WMW W    W W WK
                                 WK

            WWM W        W                              W           K               KWW KW W&&          W &                         K               W
           W  W W WW W&W W W&W  WM   W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W    WM W&W W W W WKW W&W   WW   W WKM   WMW&W  W WW W&W WKW   W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W    KW W&W WMW
           W  W W WWKW&W W WKW  WWK  W WWWKW   W W W W  W    WW W&W W W W W W W W   &WWW W M W   W W W KW WW W W W W   WW WWM&W  WWWW W W W W     W W W W&W
            K&    KK  K     K   K        K  KK  &            K   K            WWW    W      &                 &             K     K    &      W   K      M

           MWW                        MM                                 K   W
           W   WM& WW WW WM  MW W W   W W WM WW   &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W  KW WM WW &WWMW   MWW W&W W W&W W WW  WWW  MMW W W W W&W W   W WWW   WMM  WMWW W W W WW&W  W
           W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW   W W W MKW&  W W WWKW  WW WMWKW WWK W   W W W  WW &K W  W   W W W W W WW  WW  W  K&W W W W W W W   W W WM  W W  WW  WKWWWW W&W WW
           W   W&M   M W W&K MM  W    W&M M  MM    MW  W  WW    W  MM  WMM   M M  WW          WW W&W W W&M   WW  WWW   MM W KMW M M W   M  WW   W  WWKK  & W W  WMW WK
                                K                                                                                K                                                  K

            WW W& WW M W M WW   M  M&   & K MM W    WKWW WW   W W W W W W WWW   WW WW WW   M W MMW   KWM WMW   WKW M M W&  MM     W WW  WW  WW  WW MW
           W   W W  WWWWWWKM W  W W W WWWW W W W    W W  WW    W  W MK MW W MW  W WWKWKK W WKM W WK  W W W W   WW& W W WW W W     WWWKWW  WW  WW&MWW
           WWW W &WW  W W    W  W W&W && W &MW W W  & KW WW   WWW WWW WWW KWW   W  WWK W WMW   W &   WMW W W   W M  W  WM MMW   WWK WMK&  WM  W WW W
                                W                                                                                  M

            & MW&  KK W&WW  K     K    W  KW WK   & WW      &   M   &     &WM    K  & W W &    &    WWW WMM WWW    K K  WW W W &K   &     W  &   M  K& WWM    WW
           WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W   W W W W&W W  &W W&W W K W W W W W&  WKW WW W W WM  W&W   KWW MKW W  W  W W W WM W WW  WW MW    W W&W W KWK WWW W   WW
           WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W  W&M W&W   W W W W&W W  && W&W WMW WMW W WMW&   W W W WKW KW  WKW   WWW WMW WWW   W W W WM W WMWWKW  W  WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW  WWWW


           &WWW                       M M
           W    W W     W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW
           WWMW W W W   W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW  W






                                                                                           &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK           KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

              } } }         }      *  * *   *     *   * *  * *    *               * *       } *             * *       *         }             }
              }           *     }           }       *   *  }          }                             *     *         }                 *
                                                    *   }      }              *                           *         }                       }
           }   }  }  } } *    *     *   **   }}      * *   } *    }         }    * * *  * *   }  * *    *  *  *    * * *   *  }   **        } }

                                                                         }             *                    }                        }
             }      *   * *       }           }   *            *         *                                  *                        *
               } *                          * *             }      }     }   }                *             }                  *             *   }
              }              }                 *                      *          }              *     *}     *      *                 }
                                                                               *
                      **             }                        }                                           }
                        *      *                                  }           *                                            *       }
                               *                          }                                    *          }       *
                                                      *     }                    }  } }                     }

                                 }                            }     }                                                    }
                                 }                                                }                               }      }                    }}
             }                       }                 }   *               }                                }            }
              }                  }              }                                       }                   }         }  }     }   *     }

                                                                                    *                                   }    }
                                   }                       }         }*  }                         }                                                      }
                }                                                                                                           }  }
                                    *     }           }           }                                                                }


                            *  }   }   }  *}   }
                   }                   }
                   }             }
                    }          }    * } * *}    ***





             }}        }}}}}}}}}}

                                V             U                       j               jo   o                              U j    o  VV
                o   U U               j       U       V         j        o      j U V V     o V j V     o   Uj  V     V     V                 U
              j     U     o                 j o V          VU         V     V   j     V     o V o   o   o                       UV            U
                                                                        U

           o                  oU                                      U U                             oo   U                                      U
                 j            VU          U               ojo      o j U         j    o         j     VV              j   V     j  o
            Vo          j U    j             o    U   U   Uo   U                 j              j     U         o   j    j           j   o    j        j
                U      U V o     U   V  U        V V  UVV     U   U jV Uj V V       j V  V o j   o V V  V oj   o V o    U  U  o  V  o   o U V      jU U o o

              j                         V                    V                o                      j     V              j         o   o
             j    V  U     Uo        U      o  j     j   j  V V                  V  V     o         o     j o  oV        j           j j j         oj    V           U
            U j       U o   j        U j           V j        V     U                 j  U        U     U                                          oo  jV      o
                  oV    j   j        j      V  o  V          Uj      U               U VooU  V        j    U    V     U    o         V   VU       j    jj     jj
                                                                                                                  U                                                U
                                o              o    j          V   V   Vj  oo                                  o  j    jV         o
           U     j        j  o    V  jVj   o            j      j   j j o j   V       j  oU  o V                       j   V           oU  jU         V
                   o             j V      j V j      U  V       U                       U               U           o      V o oo       Uj  Vo
                    j     UU            j            V  U  j             j   j    j   o     VU    V               U                     V   jj V  o
                                                                                                                    V
                                                                                                     U
           o j             U  jUjj   VU     j  j V      jUV  o o o V   UV      V   U U V U    j o              o  V o V   U j     VU        V j V j          o  o
                  o      U      j   U     j         V         V   U   V           V  V   o                    U           V     o  V    j      V             V  U
                        U V  V j            j   j   j                 V        U     U             j   j       j          V j       U              U
                                                                                                     j

                 j       j           o
                 U     V U   j       V
                 U     V U             j      jj UV
             j   j       j





               jjjjjjjj          jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo                       UUUUUUUUUUU                                          U

    K             M   K     &     K M         K     &

                                  M      &                   K

               &
                                             K

             K                                K
                                        K                      K
                                      K K               K   K  M

            &   K


                                                    K
               WW       &W  K        &          M KKMW&      K&MMWWK
                         W MWWW   W            KMKWM   K
                         WWWWWK WWW  &          &  KK&
             W           WWWWWWWW&   &    WWWW     K  &
                        WWWWWWWWWWW  K    WWWW          &&&&  &
     WWW W              WWWWWWWWWWW  KMWKWWWWWWKWM  K K &M&&K&&K
       WWWW             WWWWWWMMWWW   WWMWWWWWWW W         K   K
     WWWWWW            WWWWWWWWWWWW   WMWWWWWWWW&M         &WK K K&
      KMWWWW    W     &WWWWWWWWWWWW       &WWWW     K     WWWMK
        WWWWW   WW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW         WW      WWWM &WW&KMW
         WWWWW  MW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW                  MWWM&K    K  KM
         KWWW        WWWWWWWMWWWWWW      KMWWWWWK       &MWKK  W   M
          WM    &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW     KWWWWWWWM       &KK    K  K
         &MM   MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW     KWWWWWWWW              MM K

           .                   :
    ,   .       :  .: ,.:         , ,.,. :.   :   , :  .:
              .        :         :
    , ,  , :   . ,: ,,  : :,, .  .  ,:... .  ., , :.:  ,   ,
                      :  :            ,       :   :  ,
        :  :     :   ,    :   , : , .          :   : ,
                 : ,   ,            ,  .:     ,

    :  ,: :: :.    .: .: :,  : ,,   ,        . ,   : .   ,:
                               :
      .,  .,, . :,,
        ,           .


    .,::,,,,,,:   ::,,..   ..   ...
    : :::::::      :,:,.
    ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,.,
    : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. ,                                 .    ,
    ::        ,.,,,,..             :                         ,
    , ..      :.,,,...,,                       :   .
        ,  :  :,.    ,
    ..         :,,,                 .
            ,  :,:   ,              :
     ,      :,.     :               .          :
      .             .               .     .   .
    ::,,                            .     ::  ,.  .
    ::,::           ,               .
    ::: ,                           .             :
    ,   ,                           ,  .

     }    *  * <     } * *   *  }  } <     <         *  }
       <     }    ~       ~ ~ ~             <            ~
        }}  }*   *~}}*  }}    **<   }}~ * } *}<<<  ** } <
     * <~ ~  <  ~  *  <  ~   <  } }      ~ ~~    <   <~ * ~ <*
     * *<} <<<   ~   } *  } < * <**  *   < ~~} * * }   <~<}~}  < *}
    <  < *  <  }*     ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< }  <
    <~**~~*< }~~* }   <   ***   *< ~ *}  ~}  *  <*   <*<}~<*
    }~* } *~  }}   ~  *   << <  < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~*  }  < <  ~
     <}     ~    *   *  ~  ~~ *  ~}}  ~  ***< <  << ~  <~  <}<
    } }     <    }}  }**    *      **~   } }*<*< } }**~}  ~     }
    <*         <
     }    <       }


                 ~      <<          <        }}}}*
     ~       ~<  *~        *  <
               ~        } <    *    <                             **
     ~                         <   ~}                    ~  }   }*
      ~~ ~*                       ~ }          }        < *}~ < } *
        } ~*}}                     *<               *          *<
          < <~                      ~                           }~
            ~~~    ~   ~
             ~<   *~<                                }        }
    <             <<                 * * <      ~ }<    }         ~
    ~~       }    }<                 *<    <   ~  }
               }  *                  }~*}       }* <
             <  ~                     ~           ~} }        *
       ~                              }~           *}~*       *
     ~~~    }                         *          }} * }       *    }

      Vjoj  U o V  oj   j V   V  j    jV Vo U  j UUU  jj j

    oUjV  Uo   jV     V   oojU     o   j   V     Vj  U j  VUo
                               j
    U o   j     o o o   V  o j o   j   oj V     j   o j      jj U
      V   o  V    o j                  o  j                   V UV
                     U   o   oU   j         j  j    o
       j o      jjj  o j V  o j  U               V  oo o jj
         j     o  j                             o
     V ooVVo VoV   VV   Vjjo jj Uoj       j     U V      o o o

    o oo j j VUo o o


               jU                    ojjjjjjj     oU ojjoooooooVVVj
                             j U    j UUUUUVVVoo U     VUUUUU
                                 V V UVVVVVVooo     jUU UUUUUVojoj
             j                        VVVVVojojo jj   Uo          oV
        j  jU           U             UUVV    j Voo VV V         o V
     V   U                            VVVV    U      jjU    oU   joV
    o                              U              oU V U          oo
      j             oo             o o          U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj
    o      j                       j V            jjo oUVoU     o  j
               j V   o             o  U j        j   ooV U     oVo
       o       U                   o   UUo      UV o    o       UoUV
        V                          V     j  VV      V      UVUj oV
                 U                 V j  o        V  o VU     U  oUU
         o  o                      U o           o     V   UVV  oV V
              U                    o j             j j oVVUojj   j