“Well, he’s a pediatrician, so you know he likes kids. Or feet?...No, no, kids. He has a bill from a divorce lawyer, so you know he’s single. And he has a golf magazine, so you know he’s not gay or poor.”
More from Robert Carlock
“I did Big Sister in college. That little girl taught me how to use tampons”
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“Hey, can I borrow a cup of flour? Some white kids outside want cocaine...”
“This musical is going to be a lop. which is a flop which couldn't give an F.”