Jake: Tracy, why did you never try to find your father?

Tracy: Because he’s dead.

Jake: How do you know that?

Tracy: Because I’m rich, and if that man was alive, He’d be living in my pool house, And I’d be paying him $200,000 a year to mow my lawn.

Jake: Exactly. That’s all family is...a drain.

More from Ron Weiner

View all quotes →