“I would give her dick and bubblegum. I would send her a picture of my dick and a pack of…”

“Mike would bang a Gatorade bottle if it had a pulse at this point.”

“At first, I was all about, like, I'm not going to shit where I sleep. But, I mean, for her…”

“My only rule; never fall in love at the Jersey Shore. Never, ever, ever.”