“First divorce: wife's hidden sexuality, not my fault.
Second divorce: said the wrong name at the altar, kind of my fault.
Third divorce: they shouldn't let you get married when you're that drunk and have stuff drawn all over your face, Nevada's fault.”
More from Ross Geller
“They're still not coming on, man! And the lotion and the powder have made a paste!”
“Ross: Okay, is everybody clear? We're gonna pick it up and move it. All we need is…”
“Ross: So, uh, what did the insurance company say? Chandler: Oh, they said uh, ‘You don't…”
“You could not be any more wrong. You could try, but you would not be successful.”