“She was building a pink-eye army to infiltrate all of Oregon. It was diabolical because pink-eye is so contagious.”
More from Seth Meyers
“Trump's been trying to pretend the problem doesn't exist.”
“You want to know what I think? Tough titties.”
“A hypnotist with pink eye is like a boxer with two broken hands.”
“They had to scream their orgasms into jars so that they could be saved.”