"Were there crazier moments than what’s happening right now,..." — Stephen Colbert

Quote
Catalog

Were there crazier moments than what’s happening right now, or is this just the ultimate fruit of the crazy tree?

— Stephen Colbert

For Stephen Colbert, a Very Uncomfortable Election Night

More from Stephen Colbert

View all quotes

Quote
Catalog

This is the White House, not an abandoned Walmart, you're allowed to leave.

Quote
Catalog

And if you love only yourself, you will serve only yourself. And you will have only…

Quote
Catalog

Remember, you cannot be both young and wise. Young people who pretend to be wise to the…

Quote
Catalog

Words fail me. And they failed him, too.

           WKM               &WK             W W         M      W      WWW WKW          W W            W           W       W K&W  WM  &WK  W
           W&W W WKW W WKW    W  W WKW WMW   W W WWW W W WW WWW  WW&   MW   &W   W W W &W WW W W W W   W W W  WW   W W W   M W&MWMWKW  W   W W WK
           W   W WKW W W W    W  WW &K WKW   W W WKW W W WW  MW  MMW   MWW W W   W W W MW WW W W W W   W W W WWW&  W W W   WK&&W  WMW W    W W WK
                                 WK

            WWM W        W                              W           K               KWW KW W&&          W &                         K               W
           W  W W WW W&W W W&W  WM   W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W    WM W&W W W W WKW W&W   WW   W WKM   WMW&W  W WW W&W WKW   W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W    KW W&W WMW
           W  W W WWKW&W W WKW  WWK  W WWWKW   W W W W  W    WW W&W W W W W W W W   &WWW W M W   W W W KW WW W W W W   WW WWM&W  WWWW W W W W     W W W W&W
            K&    KK  K     K   K        K  KK  &            K   K            WWW    W      &                 &             K     K    &      W   K      M

           MWW                        MM                                 K   W
           W   WM& WW WW WM  MW W W   W W WM WW   &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W  KW WM WW &WWMW   MWW W&W W W&W W WW  WWW  MMW W W W W&W W   W WWW   WMM  WMWW W W W WW&W  W
           W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW   W W W MKW&  W W WWKW  WW WMWKW WWK W   W W W  WW &K W  W   W W W W W WW  WW  W  K&W W W W W W W   W W WM  W W  WW  WKWWWW W&W WW
           W   W&M   M W W&K MM  W    W&M M  MM    MW  W  WW    W  MM  WMM   M M  WW          WW W&W W W&M   WW  WWW   MM W KMW M M W   M  WW   W  WWKK  & W W  WMW WK
                                K                                                                                K                                                  K

            WW W& WW M W M WW   M  M&   & K MM W    WKWW WW   W W W W W W WWW   WW WW WW   M W MMW   KWM WMW   WKW M M W&  MM     W WW  WW  WW  WW MW
           W   W W  WWWWWWKM W  W W W WWWW W W W    W W  WW    W  W MK MW W MW  W WWKWKK W WKM W WK  W W W W   WW& W W WW W W     WWWKWW  WW  WW&MWW
           WWW W &WW  W W    W  W W&W && W &MW W W  & KW WW   WWW WWW WWW KWW   W  WWK W WMW   W &   WMW W W   W M  W  WM MMW   WWK WMK&  WM  W WW W
                                W                                                                                  M

            & MW&  KK W&WW  K     K    W  KW WK   & WW      &   M   &     &WM    K  & W W &    &    WWW WMM WWW    K K  WW W W &K   &     W  &   M  K& WWM    WW
           WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W   W W W W&W W  &W W&W W K W W W W W&  WKW WW W W WM  W&W   KWW MKW W  W  W W W WM W WW  WW MW    W W&W W KWK WWW W   WW
           WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W  W&M W&W   W W W W&W W  && W&W WMW WMW W WMW&   W W W WKW KW  WKW   WWW WMW WWW   W W W WM W WMWWKW  W  WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW  WWWW


           &WWW                       M M
           W    W W     W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW
           WWMW W W W   W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW  W






                                                                                           &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK           KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

              } } }         }      *  * *   *     *   * *  * *    *               * *       } *             * *       *         }             }
              }           *     }           }       *   *  }          }                             *     *         }                 *
                                                    *   }      }              *                           *         }                       }
           }   }  }  } } *    *     *   **   }}      * *   } *    }         }    * * *  * *   }  * *    *  *  *    * * *   *  }   **        } }

                                                                         }             *                    }                        }
             }      *   * *       }           }   *            *         *                                  *                        *
               } *                          * *             }      }     }   }                *             }                  *             *   }
              }              }                 *                      *          }              *     *}     *      *                 }
                                                                               *
                      **             }                        }                                           }
                        *      *                                  }           *                                            *       }
                               *                          }                                    *          }       *
                                                      *     }                    }  } }                     }

                                 }                            }     }                                                    }
                                 }                                                }                               }      }                    }}
             }                       }                 }   *               }                                }            }
              }                  }              }                                       }                   }         }  }     }   *     }

                                                                                    *                                   }    }
                                   }                       }         }*  }                         }                                                      }
                }                                                                                                           }  }
                                    *     }           }           }                                                                }


                            *  }   }   }  *}   }
                   }                   }
                   }             }
                    }          }    * } * *}    ***





             }}        }}}}}}}}}}

                                V             U                       j               jo   o                              U j    o  VV
                o   U U               j       U       V         j        o      j U V V     o V j V     o   Uj  V     V     V                 U
              j     U     o                 j o V          VU         V     V   j     V     o V o   o   o                       UV            U
                                                                        U

           o                  oU                                      U U                             oo   U                                      U
                 j            VU          U               ojo      o j U         j    o         j     VV              j   V     j  o
            Vo          j U    j             o    U   U   Uo   U                 j              j     U         o   j    j           j   o    j        j
                U      U V o     U   V  U        V V  UVV     U   U jV Uj V V       j V  V o j   o V V  V oj   o V o    U  U  o  V  o   o U V      jU U o o

              j                         V                    V                o                      j     V              j         o   o
             j    V  U     Uo        U      o  j     j   j  V V                  V  V     o         o     j o  oV        j           j j j         oj    V           U
            U j       U o   j        U j           V j        V     U                 j  U        U     U                                          oo  jV      o
                  oV    j   j        j      V  o  V          Uj      U               U VooU  V        j    U    V     U    o         V   VU       j    jj     jj
                                                                                                                  U                                                U
                                o              o    j          V   V   Vj  oo                                  o  j    jV         o
           U     j        j  o    V  jVj   o            j      j   j j o j   V       j  oU  o V                       j   V           oU  jU         V
                   o             j V      j V j      U  V       U                       U               U           o      V o oo       Uj  Vo
                    j     UU            j            V  U  j             j   j    j   o     VU    V               U                     V   jj V  o
                                                                                                                    V
                                                                                                     U
           o j             U  jUjj   VU     j  j V      jUV  o o o V   UV      V   U U V U    j o              o  V o V   U j     VU        V j V j          o  o
                  o      U      j   U     j         V         V   U   V           V  V   o                    U           V     o  V    j      V             V  U
                        U V  V j            j   j   j                 V        U     U             j   j       j          V j       U              U
                                                                                                     j

                 j       j           o
                 U     V U   j       V
                 U     V U             j      jj UV
             j   j       j





               jjjjjjjj          jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo                       UUUUUUUUUUU                                          U

    K             M   K     &     K M         K     &

                                  M      &                   K

               &
                                             K

             K                                K
                                        K                      K
                                      K K               K   K  M

            &   K


                                                    K
               WW       &W  K        &          M KKMW&      K&MMWWK
                         W MWWW   W            KMKWM   K
                         WWWWWK WWW  &          &  KK&
             W           WWWWWWWW&   &    WWWW     K  &
                        WWWWWWWWWWW  K    WWWW          &&&&  &
     WWW W              WWWWWWWWWWW  KMWKWWWWWWKWM  K K &M&&K&&K
       WWWW             WWWWWWMMWWW   WWMWWWWWWW W         K   K
     WWWWWW            WWWWWWWWWWWW   WMWWWWWWWW&M         &WK K K&
      KMWWWW    W     &WWWWWWWWWWWW       &WWWW     K     WWWMK
        WWWWW   WW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW         WW      WWWM &WW&KMW
         WWWWW  MW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW                  MWWM&K    K  KM
         KWWW        WWWWWWWMWWWWWW      KMWWWWWK       &MWKK  W   M
          WM    &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW     KWWWWWWWM       &KK    K  K
         &MM   MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW     KWWWWWWWW              MM K

           .                   :
    ,   .       :  .: ,.:         , ,.,. :.   :   , :  .:
              .        :         :
    , ,  , :   . ,: ,,  : :,, .  .  ,:... .  ., , :.:  ,   ,
                      :  :            ,       :   :  ,
        :  :     :   ,    :   , : , .          :   : ,
                 : ,   ,            ,  .:     ,

    :  ,: :: :.    .: .: :,  : ,,   ,        . ,   : .   ,:
                               :
      .,  .,, . :,,
        ,           .


    .,::,,,,,,:   ::,,..   ..   ...
    : :::::::      :,:,.
    ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,.,
    : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. ,                                 .    ,
    ::        ,.,,,,..             :                         ,
    , ..      :.,,,...,,                       :   .
        ,  :  :,.    ,
    ..         :,,,                 .
            ,  :,:   ,              :
     ,      :,.     :               .          :
      .             .               .     .   .
    ::,,                            .     ::  ,.  .
    ::,::           ,               .
    ::: ,                           .             :
    ,   ,                           ,  .

     }    *  * <     } * *   *  }  } <     <         *  }
       <     }    ~       ~ ~ ~             <            ~
        }}  }*   *~}}*  }}    **<   }}~ * } *}<<<  ** } <
     * <~ ~  <  ~  *  <  ~   <  } }      ~ ~~    <   <~ * ~ <*
     * *<} <<<   ~   } *  } < * <**  *   < ~~} * * }   <~<}~}  < *}
    <  < *  <  }*     ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< }  <
    <~**~~*< }~~* }   <   ***   *< ~ *}  ~}  *  <*   <*<}~<*
    }~* } *~  }}   ~  *   << <  < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~*  }  < <  ~
     <}     ~    *   *  ~  ~~ *  ~}}  ~  ***< <  << ~  <~  <}<
    } }     <    }}  }**    *      **~   } }*<*< } }**~}  ~     }
    <*         <
     }    <       }


                 ~      <<          <        }}}}*
     ~       ~<  *~        *  <
               ~        } <    *    <                             **
     ~                         <   ~}                    ~  }   }*
      ~~ ~*                       ~ }          }        < *}~ < } *
        } ~*}}                     *<               *          *<
          < <~                      ~                           }~
            ~~~    ~   ~
             ~<   *~<                                }        }
    <             <<                 * * <      ~ }<    }         ~
    ~~       }    }<                 *<    <   ~  }
               }  *                  }~*}       }* <
             <  ~                     ~           ~} }        *
       ~                              }~           *}~*       *
     ~~~    }                         *          }} * }       *    }

      Vjoj  U o V  oj   j V   V  j    jV Vo U  j UUU  jj j

    oUjV  Uo   jV     V   oojU     o   j   V     Vj  U j  VUo
                               j
    U o   j     o o o   V  o j o   j   oj V     j   o j      jj U
      V   o  V    o j                  o  j                   V UV
                     U   o   oU   j         j  j    o
       j o      jjj  o j V  o j  U               V  oo o jj
         j     o  j                             o
     V ooVVo VoV   VV   Vjjo jj Uoj       j     U V      o o o

    o oo j j VUo o o


               jU                    ojjjjjjj     oU ojjoooooooVVVj
                             j U    j UUUUUVVVoo U     VUUUUU
                                 V V UVVVVVVooo     jUU UUUUUVojoj
             j                        VVVVVojojo jj   Uo          oV
        j  jU           U             UUVV    j Voo VV V         o V
     V   U                            VVVV    U      jjU    oU   joV
    o                              U              oU V U          oo
      j             oo             o o          U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj
    o      j                       j V            jjo oUVoU     o  j
               j V   o             o  U j        j   ooV U     oVo
       o       U                   o   UUo      UV o    o       UoUV
        V                          V     j  VV      V      UVUj oV
                 U                 V j  o        V  o VU     U  oUU
         o  o                      U o           o     V   UVV  oV V
              U                    o j             j j oVVUojj   j