“In battle, we risk all for a taste of the immortal. In retreat, sure, we lose nothing, but what we gain is far worse than nothing: Ignominy. And shame. We don't give up because they make us. We give up because we're lazy! Or would rather drink and watch Treehouse Masters. Plus, no one tells my girl she can't go to their bar!”
More from Stephen Falk
“I know you had family shit and you couldn't be yourself around them, but you'd straight-up…”
“What? Whoa. What? So he porks her and you have to watch? What? Damn, that's crazy! Jesus,…”
“Ew, books are gross.”
“I'm a terrible patient. When I had the mumps, Mother threatened to send me to foster care.”