“The vast majority of all human effort, however great or minuscule, ends in failure. So what are your options? You just admit pre-defeat that odds are you’re going to be right or you do it anyway. Maybe we’re a success regardless of the outcome, because we tried. Maybe there’s beauty in the struggle…”Tagged: Trying, perseverance, Failure, Never Give Up, Break Up
“Last night, a certifiable fox hit on me, and I did not respond. I masturbated furiously afterwards, but only after I'd rejected her.”Tagged: Fox, masturbation, Rejection
“I did what you said. I looked at my life from an outside perspective. It was terrifying. I didn't recognize any of it. I don't recognize my life. I don't know whether I made any of the right decisions. Everything could be wrong.”Tagged: Self-doubts, Fear Of Failing, Failure
“Jimmy: Oh, speak for yourself. I'm not the one who flung my sandwich like a upset chimp at the zoo. Gretchen: I threw it because I realized I was living with an uptight dildo whose personality unmakes itself anytime something bad happens. Jimmy: Says the woman who spent weeks catatonic on the couch…”Tagged: dildo, Sandwich, Catatonic, yoga pants, Clinical Illness
“Ferris just wants to show Cameron a fun day for once in his pathetic little life, but Cameron acts like a whiny knob the whole time, subverting every attempt at fun with his passive-aggressive anxiety and relentless nay-saying, essentially ruining what might be Ferris's last day of freedom by being…”Tagged: Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Cameron, Passive-Aggressive, Anxiety, Miserable
“Dishonesty to spare someone’s feelings belittles everyone involved, but dishonesty to get free stuff is just smart economics!”Tagged: broke, Dishonesty, Poverty Hacks
“This is our love story… and our story is chaotic, but love is chaos. It's the only game in town I've played.”Tagged: Love, What Is Love?, Romantic
“No. It's amazing. I was smelling the jacket that Dad left and it smelled exactly like him. Just cigarettes, ale, beans, occupational failure. And in a rush, that feeling that we'd been searching for all day just came flying out. And, Gretchen, it wasn't sadness. It was happiness. I'm free. I am…”Tagged: Mementos, jacket, Beans, Occupational Failure, Sexy
“In battle, we risk all for a taste of the immortal. In retreat, sure, we lose nothing, but what we gain is far worse than nothing: Ignominy. And shame. We don't give up because they make us. We give up because we're lazy! Or would rather drink and watch Treehouse Masters. Plus, no one tells my girl…”Tagged: Battle, Immortal, Ignominy, Shame, Treehouse Masters
“You know, when we had that moment in the pub, I thought to myself, 'After 33 years, I'm finally having a real moment with my father.' Can't believe what a fool I was. There wasn't a shred of truth in that moment. You were lying the whole time. You were dying, you didn't say a word. All you had to do…”Tagged: Assholery, Modicum, Neglect, Eulogies
“Look what I made! I went to Kinko's. Talked to some undergrads making a 'zine. It's a lovely place. Anyway, turns out I've been living my entire life in opposition to my father. And now that he's dead, I have no idea who I really am. Am I even a writer? Who knows? Maybe I'm meant to be a master…”Tagged: Kinko's, Zines, Singer-Songwriters
“The world is absolutely lousy with people, and I hate them all. I hate everyone but you.”Tagged: Hate, Misanthropy