“Let me ask you something. If someone prays for patience, you think God gives them patience? Or does he give them the opportunity to be patient? If he prayed for courage, does God give him courage, or does he give him opportunities to be courageous? If someone prayed for the family to be closer, do you think God zaps them with warm fuzzy feelings, or does he give them opportunities to love each other?”
More from Steve Oedekerk
“I always knew you couldn't trust a fudge head.”
“Who's up for a group hurl?”
“Yeah, I'm great with science. Oh, wait, did I say 'science?' I meant hula dancing.”
“Did you just make a wardrobe change? This isn't the Oscars. You're not Whoopi.”