“I saw six men kicking and punching the mother-in-law. My neighbor said, 'Are you going to help?' I said 'No, Six should be enough.'”
More from Steven Wright
“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”
“I'm addicted to placebos. I could quit, but it wouldn't matter.”
“In school they told me ‘Practice makes perfect.’ And then they told me ‘Nobody's perfect,’…”
“I have a paper cut from writing my suicide note. [sighs] It's a start...”