“This one guy got his hands on a bunch of sex toys, and decided to start an underground sex toy ring. He had some guys who would hang around the locker rooms and stairwells and shiftily ask people if they wanted to buy anything, and hand out his wannabe business cards, likely made in the Art Room after hours.

A few guys in my gym class took his info, and the guy who handed out the cards explained that he had a bunch of buttplugs and dildos which he'd sell for $10, and some random stuff like handcuffs and vibrators for $15. He said to go to a McDonald's downtown and look for a guy with a black hoodie, aviators and a big green army duffel bag.

To this day, nobody has caught the Mystery McDonald's Dildo Man.”