“I told my dad that I glued all my A* papers to my ceiling. He said, "Keep up the good…”

“My girlfriend said she'd dump me if I didn't eat everything from her bin. I've had enough…”

“What's it called when you're reborn as something French? Oui-incarnation.”

“There's a lot of give and take in my marriage. I give her my money and she takes my…”