“One of life’s great secrets: women don’t look for handsome men, they look for men with beautiful women.”
More from Tucker Max
“The devil doesn’t come dressed in a red cape and pointy horns. He comes as everything…”
“I prefer to keep fooling myself, at least for a little while longer.”
“If you wear crocs on a first date, she'll excuse herself and never come back.”
“Of course, I'm not a doctor; I just watch a lot of ER and House.”