“I'm an over thinker. I hate it. I make a big deal out of the most simplest of things. Create problems within my own head. I wish I could stop overthinking things. It's only making things worse than it actually is. I need to learn to stop overthinking the littlest of things. Too bad I can't help it.”
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“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.”
“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”
“What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You…”
“Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.”