“Your soulmate is not someone who comes into your life peacefully. It is someone who makes you question things, someone who changes your reality, someone that marks a before and after in your life. It is not the human being everyone has idealized but an ordinary person who manages to revolutionize your world in a second.”
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“It takes a lot of balls to golf the way I do.”
“When life gives you melons, you might be dyslexic.”
“What do you say to a drunk who walks into a bar with jumper cables around his neck? You…”
“Why didn’t the melons get married? Because they cantaloupe.”