How I Learned to Stop Being a “Chill Girl” and Start Being Me

You’ve got to give yourself permission to not have the answers, to survive things going amiss, to exert less energy into bullshit, and trust you’ll be okay. This doesn’t mean become stagnant or coast in mediocrity, but find solace in relinquishing the idea of control. Simply do your best, and vow to…

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Inspirational Be yourself Self-Acceptance Social Anxiety Control Freak

Stop giving apologies you don’t owe. Rightfully take up space. Know you have something of value to add to the conversation. Know when to shush and just listen. Rustle feathers. Do more things that make you nervous. Do that thing people in your life won’t get but ultimately makes you feel fulfilled.…

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Identity Be yourself Self-Acceptance Free Spirit Social Anxiety

I, as do you, deserve a seat at the table, flaws and all.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Imposter Syndrome Inspirational Self-Worth Flawed Self-Acceptance

We don’t have to morph into something disingenuous for the sake of appeasing others.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Be yourself Pleasing Others The Cool Girl Social Anxiety Living

No one’s comfort is more important than my peace of mind and well-being, and I need to stop feeling guilty about that.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

The Cool Girl Pleasing Others Social Anxiety Peace Of Mind Self-Worth

Get comfortable saying no. Once a people-pleaser realizes the world won’t crumble into smithereens if she says no or changes her mind, it’s a new day.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

The Cool Girl Pleasing Others Saying No Living

I wish for a speedy death to the chill girl within all of us, a kiss of death to the malleable shell of ourselves surviving only on our socialized compulsion to people please. And a long and fruitful life to the woman who has patiently been waiting underneath.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Identity Womanhood bad girl The Cool Girl Inspirational

We are each so deliciously complex and messy; what better way to pay homage to these multiplicities than to feel, to express, and to carve out space to navigate as our purest self?

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Identity Inspirational humanity Self-Acceptance emotions

Having needs and expectations doesn’t make me difficult or some insatiable monster.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

The Cool Girl High Standards Empowering Self-Worth Identity

A fixation on being perceived as nice or ‘sooo chill’ is a colossal waste of time.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

The Cool Girl Nice Girl Be yourself Pleasing Others Living

Perhaps the most exhausting part of the charade was time spent watching myself through the lens of others; contorting myself into something more palatable for the next person; shouldering guilt and expectations that weren’t mine to bear.

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Overthinker Social Anxiety Reputation Pleasing Others Living

Perhaps the most exhausting part of the charade was time spent watching myself through the lens of others; contorting myself into something more palatable for the next person; shouldering guilt and expectations that weren’t mine to bear; and swallowing discomfort when I wanted to bellow, 'I’m not ok…

— Martine Thompson, vogue.com

Chill Girl Girls Personality Being Yourself Self-awareness

WKM &WK W W M W WWW WKW W W W W W K&W WM &WK W W&W W WKW W WKW W W WKW WMW W W WWW W W WW WWW WW& MW &W W W W &W WW W W W W W W W WW W W W M W&MWMWKW W W W WK W W WKW W W W W WW &K WKW W W WKW W W WW MW MMW MWW W W W W W MW WW W W W W W W W WWW& W W W WK&&W WMW W W W WK WK WWM W W W K KWW KW W&& W & K W W W W WW W&W W W&W WM W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W WM W&W W W W WKW W&W WW W WKM WMW&W W WW W&W WKW W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W KW W&W WMW W W W WWKW&W W WKW WWK W WWWKW W W W W W WW W&W W W W W W W W &WWW W M W W W W KW WW W W W W WW WWM&W WWWW W W W W W W W W&W K& KK K K K K KK & K K WWW W & & K K & W K M MWW MM K W W WM& WW WW WM MW W W W W WM WW &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W KW WM WW &WWMW MWW W&W W W&W W WW WWW MMW W W W W&W W W WWW WMM WMWW W W W WW&W W W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW W W W MKW& W W WWKW WW WMWKW WWK W W W W WW &K W W W W W W W WW WW W K&W W W W W W W W W WM W W WW WKWWWW W&W WW W W&M M W W&K MM W W&M M MM MW W WW W MM WMM M M WW WW W&W W W&M WW WWW MM W KMW M M W M WW W WWKK & W W WMW WK K K K WW W& WW M W M WW M M& & K MM W WKWW WW W W W W W W WWW WW WW WW M W MMW KWM WMW WKW M M W& MM W WW WW WW WW MW W W W WWWWWWKM W W W W WWWW W W W W W WW W W MK MW W MW W WWKWKK W WKM W WK W W W W WW& W W WW W W WWWKWW WW WW&MWW WWW W &WW W W W W W&W && W &MW W W & KW WW WWW WWW WWW KWW W WWK W WMW W & WMW W W W M W WM MMW WWK WMK& WM W WW W W M & MW& KK W&WW K K W KW WK & WW & M & &WM K & W W & & WWW WMM WWW K K WW W W &K & W & M K& WWM WW WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W W W W W&W W &W W&W W K W W W W W& WKW WW W W WM W&W KWW MKW W W W W W WM W WW WW MW W W&W W KWK WWW W WW WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W W&M W&W W W W W&W W && W&W WMW WMW W WMW& W W W WKW KW WKW WWW WMW WWW W W W WM W WMWWKW W WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW WWWW &WWW M M W W W W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW WWMW W W W W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW W &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

} } } } * * * * * * * * * * * * } * * * * } } } * } } * * } } * * } * * } } * * } } } } } } } * * * ** }} * * } * } } * * * * * } * * * * * * * * * } ** } } } * } } } * * * } } * * * * * } * * * } } } } * } * * } } } * * } * *} * * } * ** } } } * * } * * } * } * } * * } } } } } } } } } } } } } }} } } } * } } } } } } } } } } } * } * } } } } }* } } } } } } * } } } } * } } } *} } } } } } } } * } * *} *** }} }}}}}}}}}}

V U j jo o U j o VV o U U j U V j o j U V V o V j V o Uj V V V U j U o j o V VU V V j V o V o o o UV U U o oU U U oo U U j VU U ojo o j U j o j VV j V j o Vo j U j o U U Uo U j j U o j j j o j j U U V o U V U V V UVV U U jV Uj V V j V V o j o V V V oj o V o U U o V o o U V jU U o o j V V o j V j o o j V U Uo U o j j j V V V V o o j o oV j j j j oj V U U j U o j U j V j V U j U U U oo jV o oV j j j V o V Uj U U VooU V j U V U o V VU j jj jj U U o o j V V Vj oo o j jV o U j j o V jVj o j j j j o j V j oU o V j V oU jU V o j V j V j U V U U U o V o oo Uj Vo j UU j V U j j j j o VU V U V jj V o V U o j U jUjj VU j j V jUV o o o V UV V U U V U j o o V o V U j VU V j V j o o o U j U j V V U V V V o U V o V j V V U U V V j j j j V U U j j j V j U U j j j o U V U j V U V U j jj UV j j j jjjjjjjj jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo UUUUUUUUUUU U

K M K & K M K & M & K & K K K K K K K K K M & K K WW &W K & M KKMW& K&MMWWK W MWWW W KMKWM K WWWWWK WWW & & KK& W WWWWWWWW& & WWWW K & WWWWWWWWWWW K WWWW &&&& & WWW W WWWWWWWWWWW KMWKWWWWWWKWM K K &M&&K&&K WWWW WWWWWWMMWWW WWMWWWWWWW W K K WWWWWW WWWWWWWWWWWW WMWWWWWWWW&M &WK K K& KMWWWW W &WWWWWWWWWWWW &WWWW K WWWMK WWWWW WW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW WW WWWM &WW&KMW WWWWW MW WWWWWWWWWWWWWW MWWM&K K KM KWWW WWWWWWWMWWWWWW KMWWWWWK &MWKK W M WM &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW KWWWWWWWM &KK K K &MM MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW KWWWWWWWW MM K

. : , . : .: ,.: , ,.,. :. : , : .: . : : , , , : . ,: ,, : :,, . . ,:... . ., , :.: , , : : , : : , : : : , : , : , . : : , : , , , .: , : ,: :: :. .: .: :, : ,, , . , : . ,: : ., .,, . :,, , . .,::,,,,,,: ::,,.. .. ... : ::::::: :,:,. ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,., : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. , . , :: ,.,,,,.. : , , .. :.,,,...,, : . , : :,. , .. :,,, . , :,: , : , :,. : . : . . . . . ::,, . :: ,. . ::,:: , . ::: , . : , , , .

} * * < } * * * } } < < * } < } ~ ~ ~ ~ < ~ }} }* *~}}* }} **< }}~ * } *}<<< ** } < * <~ ~ < ~ * < ~ < } } ~ ~~ < <~ * ~ <* * *<} <<< ~ } * } < * <** * < ~~} * * } <~<}~} < *} < < * < }* ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< } < <~**~~*< }~~* } < *** *< ~ *} ~} * <* <*<}~<* }~* } *~ }} ~ * << < < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~* } < < ~ <} ~ * * ~ ~~ * ~}} ~ ***< < << ~ <~ <}< } } < }} }** * **~ } }*<*< } }**~} ~ } <* < } < } ~ << < }}}}* ~ ~< *~ * < ~ } < * < ** ~ < ~} ~ } }* ~~ ~* ~ } } < *}~ < } * } ~*}} *< * *< < <~ ~ }~ ~~~ ~ ~ ~< *~< } } < << * * < ~ }< } ~ ~~ } }< *< < ~ } } * }~*} }* < < ~ ~ ~} } * ~ }~ *}~* * ~~~ } * }} * } * }

Vjoj U o V oj j V V j jV Vo U j UUU jj j oUjV Uo jV V oojU o j V Vj U j VUo j U o j o o o V o j o j oj V j o j jj U V o V o j o j V UV U o oU j j j o j o jjj o j V o j U V oo o jj j o j o V ooVVo VoV VV Vjjo jj Uoj j U V o o o o oo j j VUo o o jU ojjjjjjj oU ojjoooooooVVVj j U j UUUUUVVVoo U VUUUUU V V UVVVVVVooo jUU UUUUUVojoj j VVVVVojojo jj Uo oV j jU U UUVV j Voo VV V o V V U VVVV U jjU oU joV o U oU V U oo j oo o o U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj o j j V jjo oUVoU o j j V o o U j j ooV U oVo o U o UUo UV o o UoUV V V j VV V UVUj oV U V j o V o VU U oUU o o U o o V UVV oV V U o j j j oVVUojj j