I have to deal with the consequences of being a drunk fucking idiot.
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My Videos | Jenna Marbles
Don’t ever, ever, ever give up. You’re here for a reason. Even if it’s just to look at cats on the internet. You’ll figure it out.
Nothing says ‘Call me later’ like puking up your ceasar salad on him.
99.9 percent of the time I will talk to anyone who comes up to me, and I am super nice. But as soon as your penis touches my butthole without me knowing, then I’m not happy.
I just wanted to let you know that if I die and then maybe you die we will have a ghost party and I would make you all of your favorite flavor jello shots and we would get ghostface wasted because thats how much I love you.
When I’m feeling sad, or lonely, and I don’t know what I’m doing and I don’t know where I’m going, I imagine the Cool Awesome Future Version of Myself just telling my present self, ‘It’s okay. You just gotta grab that giraffe by the ears and ride it on out.’
You don’t have to be better. You just have to be you.
James Franco looks like someone my vagina would want to be friends with.
Always talk to him about your period. Guys love that! Because they don’t have periods! The curiosity will just kill them.
Girls fucking hate each other for no reason.
People keep telling me, ‘I have to do this; I have to do that.’ Motherfucker, I don’t have to do anything!
People keep telling me, ‘I have to do this; I have to do that.’ Motherfucker, I don’t have to do anything!
Your head and your face are stupid. That’s why we broke up.
You gotta stop forcing relationships. If someone doesn’t want to be with you, just be like, ‘Cool, see ya never, bye!’
I fully respect and support everyone’s right to stalk others via the internet.
Let me drop a cold, hard fact on you: There’s no bigger turn on than when a guy has a shameless animal voice. ‘Hey there, Mr. Doggie. Hi!’ What was that sound? That’s the sound of me throwing my underwear across the room. Let’s bang.
You might as well get some cats and call it quits.
If you don’t like puppies and kitties and animals and that stuff, enjoy the rest of your life…without a soul.
Girls are majestic fucking creatures.
In order to find out who you are, you will, at some point, have to feel really isolated, left out, different.