The Phone Message

by Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Tom Cherones, Gretchen German, Moon and 2 others(6 total)

George blows an invitation upstairs with his latest girlfriend and then when he tries to make restitution he leaves progressively nastier messages on her answering machine. He gets the chance to prevent her from hearing her messages by having Jerry switch

Characters

Jerry Seinfeld (12)Larry David (6)Jason Alexander (3)George Costanza (3)

Women don't wanna see need. They want a take-charge guy—a colonel, a kaiser, a tsar.

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Masculinity Neediness strength

What's brutal about the date is the scrutiny that you put each other through. Because whenever you think about this person in terms of the future, you have to magnify everything about them. You know, like the guy'll be like 'I don't think her eyebrows are even. Could I look at uneven eyebrows for th…

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Dating Anxiety tension pressure Eyebrows

I think if one's going to kill oneself, the least you could do is leave a note—it's common courtesy. I don't know, that's just the way I was brought up.

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Suicide Suicide Notes Courtesy Irony

She invited me up. Coffee's not coffee, coffee is sex.

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Coffee Sex Miscommunication

For me to ask a woman out I gotta get into a mental state like the karate guys before they break the bricks.

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Dating Anxiety Karate

The bad thing about television is that everybody you see on television is doing something better than what you're doing. Did you ever see anybody on TV like just sliding off the front of the sofa with potato chip crumbs on their face?

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Television Reality v. Fantasy Couch Potatoes

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