“I need one of those baby monitors for my subconscious to my consciousness so I can know what the hell I'm really thinking about.”— Steven Wright, imdb.com
“Lots of my friends have babies, but I don't have any babies. But I have lots of friends; babies don't have any friends. They all have those baby monitors so they can hear the baby from the other room, which I consider a form of wiretapping. One day there's gonna be a really smart baby who makes a fa…”— Steven Wright, imdb.com