Quotes tagged ‘Best Jokes’

(8 total)

“If I could have any superpower, I'd want to be able to whisper to someone: Your opinion is wrong and bad! and have them internalize it.”

“The key to success in life is to work hard, set goals, and have access to a powerful magic spellbook.”

“Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.”

“A day without sunshine is like, well, night.”

“Just remember…if the world didn’t suck, we’d all fall off.”

“A dyslexic man walks into a bra....”

“Studies show that if you eat well, exercise, and don't do drugs or alcohol, YOU WILL DIE.”

“It takes 26 muscles to smile and 62 muscles to frown, so don't ever say that I don't go out of my way for you.”