Quote
Catalog

Josh Gondelman

6 quotesMale

Joshua Lyons "Josh" Gondelman (born January 15, 1985) is an American actor, comedy writer, and stand-up comedian. He is known for his work as a writer on Last Week Tonight with John Oliver and for co-creating the parody Twitter account SeinfeldToday. 2Early life and education Gondelman was born in Stoneham, Massachusetts to a Jewish family, where he graduated from Stoneham High School. He later graduated from Brandeis University in 2007, where he double majored in creative writing and English. After graduating from college, he moved to New York in 2011 with his then-girlfriend. 2Career 3Magazine journalism Gondelman began working for magazines after he started his stand-up career, because stand-up had proved not to be very profitable for him. His first major story, Both Sides of a Break Up, was co-authored by him and his then-girlfriend and published in New York Magazine in 2012. In 2013, he wrote a story for Esquire describing his experience running in a Tough Mudder race to promote Wheaties in exchange for monetary compensation from General Mills and Zeus Jones. 3Stand-up career As a stand-up comedian, he has opened for John Oliver, Jen Kirkman and Pete Holmes, but also (as of November 2015) performs regularly at small New York City venues. Eve Peyser has said that during his stand-up, Gondelman "radiates humility and a relatable, everyday awkwardness alongside fierce confidence and wit." His debut album, "Physical Whisper" was released on March 18, 201

All hugs (1)Insomnia (1)Funny Quotes (1)Supowers (1)Hug Problems (1)American Politics (1)Too Nice (1)Best Jokes (1)Sleep (1)Women's Rights (1)Up All Night (1)Hug Quotes (1)Social Justice (1)humor (1)Can't Sleep (1)

From “Josh Gondelman Stand-Up 03/23/16”

A lot of people say old folks are racist. I don’t think that’s true. I don’t think old people are more prejudice than you or I. I just think they think they’re still whispering.

When you’re retired, suspenders and sweatpants - that is the ideal outfit for you to wear; because that tells anyone you meet everything they need to know about your life. The suspenders say, ‘I’d like to speak to your manager.’ And the sweatpants say, ‘And I have all day, so…

Call me crazy, but I hope someday women have more rights than guns do.

Women's Rights American Politics Social Justice humor Sad But True

Why am I not asleep? he thought, while shining a beam of pure information directly into his eyes from eight inches away.

Can't Sleep Insomnia No Sleep Up All Night Sleep

If I could have any superpower, I'd want to be able to whisper to someone: Your opinion is wrong and bad! and have them internalize it.

Funny Quotes Best Jokes Supowers

A problem I have is that I don't know how to reduce my hug strength below the level of about to leave for war.

hugs Too Nice I Love Hugs Hug Quotes Hug

WM W KM W KK M M W W W W &WW WWW& WWW W MM WM W WWW K M WMW WWM WWW WWWW WWM WWW WWW WW WWWW &W& WWW W W W WWW KWWW W W W W &W W W W W WWK WW K&W MW W W& WW W KW WK W W WWKWW K&W W W WM W KMW WWW W MW W W W& W W W WW W& W W W MW W W W W W WW W WW M W W WW WW W W WM W W WK W WW W W W W W& W MW W W W& W WW W & K M &WK K M WMK MW& WW MW WM & KWM KW & W W KW K K & K W& K W& WWK W& K & W & & M W&M& &M KM K & WW K KW& & KW KM WM&& && W KM && WK K M KWW W M K K& && K& M M& WW &W W W WW WW KW W W K WM W W W& W W W W W WW & WW WW W W W WK WW W W W&WK MW K W W& W K K W& MW W W MW &W W W WW M W W WK W&&W W WW W W W M WW WW W W W& W W W W W &W WK W W M W W W W W WWW KW WWWWW W W W W & MM W W & WM WK W W WKKM WW W WWWW KWWW WWWK WWWW W W W KWWW M WWW & W &WWW W WWW WWWW & W WWW W K& W MWKW WWW KK W WWW &K WWWW W WWW WWWW WW WMW WW & W WW W MWWM W W WW WMWWW WM &W W WK W&WW MW&WW WWMW WK W& W WMWW WW&W WW&W& KWKW W&WW WMWWWWW WWKW WMWW WW&W W&MW WMMW WKWW MW W & W KW W W W& KW WWK &WK&W MM W W &W WW WM& WM W&KW W W WMW W W W W W WKKMKW& W W MMKWK&W W MMWW&&W WW W W WWWW W WWWW &W W WW WMWW K WW W WWWW WW WW WWWW W&MW WK KW KW&W WMWM W W W MW&W WWWW W WW WMWW WWWW WMWM WW W W WW W W W W W KM W W WWW W WWWW MWWW WW WWWW WWW& WWW W W KWWW WWW WWWW WWWW WWW& WWW WW KM W WWWW W &W W W WWWW WWW &WW WWWW KWWW W WW W W W W WW W W W &W&&W W W W W WW& K&WW W W W W &&W W W &W W &KW W &W W WM W W WW&WW WW W&&W M&W W WK W WWKWW W W W W&KW W M W W& W W W W MW &W W W &W W W W W W W W MW W W W MW WW W W WW WW W W W W W W M K &W KM & W && & & K& & & & & K & & W & MK K& &K M M &WK MM W K KKK &KK&K KK &&MMMM&&&&&&&MMMMMMMM&&&&M&&&&K&&M WWWWWWW &KW K W K KKKKKK&&K K K KMWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWK WWWWK MWW &M&&KMMM&KKKKKKK KWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW KWK KW WWWWW MWM&W

* * } } } } * } * } } } } } } } } * } } } } * } * } } } * }} } * } }} } * * } } * } } } } } * } } }} } } } } } } } } } }} } } } } } } } } * } } } } } } } } * } * } * * } * * } } } } * } * * * } } } * } } } } } } * } } * } } } } } } } } } } } } } } } * * } } } * }} } } * } **}}} }***}}}}}*}*}*}}}}}}}*}}}}}} }} } }}}}}}}*}}}}}}}}} }}}}}}}}}}}}}} } }} } }}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} } }}}

o V j o U j j j j o U U o j U o o U V o U o U o o j o o Uj U Uo U V o U j Uo UU j U o U j UjU o o o oUo j j U o j UV jU o oV Uj o o U UV U oU oo U V U oo UVj o j o U j jV Vj Vj j jU UU j U j j U V U j U U U U o j oV j oV j j V V U Vj oj U VU oj j V U V V Vj V jV U j V U UU j V U VU V j U j UU j j o V U V V V VVV o V VU j j VU j o U V VV V U V V V oV U U V o V UV o V j U U VV j U V jo j j j j ojjjo U j U UV o j o U V V o o U U j j o U V o jVj U U V j j jV j o o V j jU o o U V V V j U U U U V o V V o U j o U j U U o o U U U V o o V V oj VU Vj VU Uo j U V jj o U V V U jU U o o V oj UU j V UU V o j o o V U j j oU U jV U o o jU o jV U o U V jV j oU o jo oU o jj j o V j o o oU UU UVVUUUUVoU U VVUVUUVVUVUVVjj Uj U j jj jjjjj j jU UUVUU VVU UU VoV jjjV j j jjooojjj jjjjj jUjjj VjjjjoV jj jj jjjjjjjj jjjjjjjj jjjjj

W & M M M & M M & & K M & K & M K K K &M M M K &K & KW K & W & M & K K W W W M W & K K K K K M K M & K K K KM& M M W K WM &&& &WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWM K WW W WWWMWWWWWWWWWW&WWWWW&WWWWWWWWWK WWW WK K M&W&WWMWWW WW& KWWWW MWWWW WWMM MM&MWWWW KK & WWWW MWWW MMK&K & WWW& &WWWWW WWWM M KM K K& KM& KMWWW WWWWWWWK K WWWWWMW & &WW& KMMM& K&K&MK WWWWWWWW WWWWWWWW&W KKM WKMKMM&&WMK&M&WWWM & WWWWWWWW& WWWWWWWWM MWKK K K &WWM M MM&KKW& &WWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWWMKW W MWMKKK W WW WWWWWWWWWW WWWWWWWWW && &W WWW &MMWWWWWW MWWWWWWWWWM KWMWM M W KWWWWM WWWWWWW K&WWWK K KWW MK WWWWWM WWW W W WWW WWWW &WM MWW WWK & WWW WWWK WM

, , , : . . , : , ., . : :: ,, : : , , : . , : , : ,,...,,,,,,,,,::, , .,,,,,:,::::::,.,, , . , ,,,,,,.,,,,.,,. . : ., . ........,... :: : ,,.,,. . ....... , : . .,,,,,:. ....... : ,::: ,, ...... : :: ,,:,:, , .... . ,:,,, :, .:.. .. ,::. : : : .:. ., : . : :, ..,,:..,: :. ,. :.. , ,:::, ,,, : . . :.,,: . ,,,. , ,,.. ., , . , :,:,,. ,: . . . ,, :::::.,.. , : .. . ,. .

}<} * < *~ } }< **<*~*~ * *< }~}} <* } < * < < ~ * *}*** ~* }} * *} ~ < } < < ~ * } < * } } } } } }~ ~ < * } } } ~ ~ } <~ } * }}}} } } ~} } } }*} } * }* < }<< }} * * ** } < * < *~}*} } < * * } * * } <*~~ <*}<*<<<<~< }}}< }} ~~ } ~ * < } } ~ <} ** <~ ~ < ~ < ~~ <} * < } ~ <~~ < ~~ ~ <* } * <<~ < ~ * < < } ~ < ~ <~ } ~ * < } ~* < ~~ ~~~ } < ~ * ~ * <<<<~ ~ * ~ } ~ <*~<~~ }* * } ~<<~~~ < ~ } * < ~ <<<< ~* ~* * <

o o Vj o o j VV V o o j UjUoVVUUU U VV V VVV Uo j UUjooj U oU jVV j o V j U V o j oo V oU jo j j j U o j o UjU j UUUoVo UVo jjo ooVojVU VUo o V U oV jo oUUj V o U oj Uj o jo U j UVojU jjj Vj o U Vo UU V ooooUj jVjooj o o j oj VV jV V UVo V o VV jjVo Ujo Ujj o Ujo Vjo V Uoj U o V V Vj o j j jo V oV V o j ojojj j V j o Vo j VUVVVUUUUUUU V V o VVV o U j V V V oV U o j j o UU UU V j V o o U VU V j o UU V j VU V j UU Vo V o V j j U U U U U o VjU U U j Uj VU jU o jUUo j U V UU U U U Voj j o UUV U U U V UU j o V

Related People