“Why are hurricanes named after women? When they come they are wet and wild and when they leave they take you house and car.”— dv1r, reddit.com
“My girlfriend bet me I couldn't build a car out of spaghetti... You should have seen her face when I drove pasta.”— rpncritchlow, reddit.com
“I remember once when my dad gave me money to pay the electricity bill but instead I bought a raffle ticket for a brand new car. When I got home, I explained to my dad what I did and he beat the crap out of me. But the next day, when my dad woke up and opened the door, outside my house was a brand ne…”— ReefsnChicks, reddit.com
“You make major purchases with them. If you are okay adding them to your credit card, or going in on a major purchase like a car or house, that means that you want to build a life together.”— Julie Keating, lovepanky.com
“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me.”— Greg Daniels, Michael Scott, Steve Carell, amazon.com