A sandwich walks into a bar. Barman says, ‘Sorry, we don’t serve food in here.’
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Quotes tagged ‘children's jokes’
What do you call a sheep with no legs? A cloud.
How do mountains stay warm in winter? Snowcaps.
What do you call it when a dinosaur crashes his car? Tyrannosaurus Wrecks.
What washes up on tiny beaches? Microwaves.
What’s the definition of a good farmer? A man outstanding in his field.
What did one horse say to the other at the dance? You mustang-o with me.
Knock-knock. Who’s there? Yacht. Yacht who? Yacht a know me by now!
What do you call a smart group of trees? A brain forest.
What do birds give out on Halloween? Tweets.
Why did the chicken cross the road? To get The Chinese Daily. [Pause] Do you get it? No Me, neither. I get The Times.
Where do young cows eat lunch? In the calf-ateria.
Knock-knock. Who’s there? Cash. Cash who? Thanks, but I’d rather have some peanuts.
What do you call a rich elf? Welfy.
What does a spider’s bride wear? A webbing dress.
What did the fireman name his twin sons? José and Hose-B.
What did the policeman say to his tummy? Freeze. You’re under a vest.
Why should you never trust a pig with a secret? ’Cause it’s bound to squeal.
Knock-knock. Who’s there? Who Who who? Hold on. Is there an owl in here?
What do you do if you see a spaceman? Park your car, man.