Quotes tagged ‘Christmas Jokes’

“How do you help someone who’s lost their Christmas spirit? Nurse them back to elf.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How much did Santa pay for his sleigh? Nothing. It was on the house!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why did Frosty ask for a divorce? His wife was a total flake.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you call a kid who doesn’t believe in Santa? A rebel without a Claus.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why does Scrooge love reindeer so much? Because every single buck is dear to him!”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“Why was Santa’s little helper depressed? Because he had very low elf esteem.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“How did the ornament get addicted to Christmas? He was hooked on trees his whole life.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What do you call a broke Santa Claus? Saint-nickel-less.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“What does the Grinch do with a baseball bat? Hits a gnome and runs.”

— Unknown, tcat.tc

“That's the true spirit of Christmas; people being helped by people other than me.”

— Larry David, Jerry Seinfeld, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com