“Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Jesus might love you, but everyone else definitely thinks you’re an idiot.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“I could eat a bowl of alphabet soup and shit out a smarter statement than whatever you just said.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Please, save your breath. You’ll probably need it to blow up your next date.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Everyone’s entitled to act stupid once in a while, but you really abuse the privilege.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Can you die of constipation? I ask because I’m worried about how full of shit you are.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com