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Quotes tagged ‘Comebacks’

(53 total)

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you’d gotten enough oxygen at birth?

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

Do your parents even realize they’re living proof that two wrongs don’t make a right?

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

I don’t know what your problem is, but I’m guessing it’s hard to pronounce.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

I can’t help imagining how much awesomer the world would be if your dad had just pulled out.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

You only annoy me when you’re breathing, really.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

I’m not a proctologist, but I know an asshole when I see one.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

I’m trying my absolute hardest to see things from your perspective, but I just can’t get my head that far up my ass.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

Someday you’ll go far—and I really hope you stay there.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

Do yourself a favor and ignore anyone who tells you to be yourself. Bad idea in your case.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

If you’re waiting for me to care, I hope you brought something to eat, ‘cause it’s gonna be a really long time.

— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com

The ocean called. They're running outta shrimp.

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, Reilly, Joel Polis, imdb.com

Listen to the comeback. ‘Oh yeah? Well the jerk store called. They're running outta you.’

— Gregg Kavet, Andy Robin, George Costanza, Jason Alexander, imdb.com

Don’t hate me because I’m beautiful. Hate me because your boyfriend thinks so.

— Mélanie Berliet, thoughtcatalog.com

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