Quote
Catalog

Quotes tagged ‘Comedy Quotes’

(7 total)

Comedians attempting to function as normal people.

— Jerry Seinfeld, Himself - Host, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com

Peggy: Hey Al, did ya miss me? Al Bundy: With every bullet so far.

— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

I'll tell you what I'll do then. We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you. When you reach the shade of blue that's satisfactory to you, you yell 'Moo' and I'll stop.

— Wayne Kline, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Woman: Excuse me but am I invisible? Al Bundy: Possibly from Pluto.

— Richard Gurman, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Peggy: Uh.. honey. Why don't you just stay home and bowl me over? Al Bundy: But Peg, I prefer a place where my balls are returned properly.

— Richard Gurman, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com

Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.

— Tucker Max, amazon.com

You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.

— Tucker Max, amazon.com

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