“Comedians attempting to function as normal people.”— Jerry Seinfeld, Himself - Host, Jerry Seinfeld, imdb.com
“Peggy: Hey Al, did ya miss me? Al Bundy: With every bullet so far.”— Ron Leavitt, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com
“I'll tell you what I'll do then. We'll stand you in front of a mirror, I'll begin strangling you. When you reach the shade of blue that's satisfactory to you, you yell 'Moo' and I'll stop.”— Wayne Kline, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com
“Woman: Excuse me but am I invisible? Al Bundy: Possibly from Pluto.”— Richard Gurman, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com
“Peggy: Uh.. honey. Why don't you just stay home and bowl me over? Al Bundy: But Peg, I prefer a place where my balls are returned properly.”— Richard Gurman, Al Bundy, Ed O'Neill, imdb.com
“Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”— Tucker Max, amazon.com
“You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.”— Tucker Max, amazon.com