Quotes tagged ‘Cynical&Funny’

(13 total)

“If God wanted a world filled with saints, He never would have created adolescence.”

“Shoutout to ATM fees for making me buy my own money.”

“Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick.”

“Today is one of those days that even my coffee will need a coffee.”

“I thought I was in a bad mood but it's been a few years, so I guess this is who I am now!”

“I tried to embrace my inner child today and the little asshole bit me.”

“I'm sorry I hurt your feelings when I called you stupid. I thought you already knew.”

“"Funny how I used to hate going to bed when I was younger and now it's my favorite part of the day.”

“I want to be the reason you look down at your phone and smile. Then walk into a pole.”

“Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.”

“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.”

“If I died and went straight to hell, it would take me a week to realize I wasn’t at work anymore.”

“Travel the world. Send a risky text. Swim naked. Fight a shark. Stab a stranger. Steal a car. Flee to Mexico. Live a little.”