“I didn't commit a crime. I didn't rape anybody. I didn't assault anybody. I didn't get a DUI. I mean, my God, there are celebrities that fucking kill people.”— Joyce Chen, rollingstone.com
“One time, I got pulled over at four a.m. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.”— Bob Uecker, books.google.com