“One time, I got pulled over at four a.m. I was fined seventy-five dollars for being intoxicated and four-hundred for being with the Phillies.”
More from Bob Uecker
“Haywood swings and crushes this one toward South America. Tomlinson is gonna need a visa…”
“Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy…”
“Harry Doyle: [before the playoff game] Monty, anything to add? Color Man: Ummm...no. Harry…”
“In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Indians have…”