“Be aware that a woman may not always be assertive about her needs in bed because she’s been socialized to please her partner. That’s why getting her off requires active listening and mindfulness.”— Shahida Arabi, thoughtcatalog.com
“At every turn, women are taught that how someone reacts to them does more to establish their goodness and worth than anything they themselves might feel.”— Lili Loofbourow, theweek.com
“One side effect of teaching one gender to outsource its pleasure to a third party (and endure a lot of discomfort in the process) is that they're going to be poor analysts of their own discomfort, which they have been persistently taught to ignore.”— Lili Loofbourow, theweek.com
“This is also how women are taught to be good hosts. To subordinate their desires to those of others. To avoid confrontation.”— Lili Loofbourow, theweek.com
“Women are supposed to perform comfort and pleasure they do not feel under conditions that make genuine comfort almost impossible.”— Lili Loofbourow, theweek.com
“There was potential with Grace’s story: the conversations that followed could have given us a real shot at cracking away at the imbalanced sexual power structures that plague us—the power structures that tell us a man’s desires are more significant than a woman’s, and that conditioned Grace not to “…”— Julianne Escobedo Shepherd, jezebel.com
“There’s a reason many women try to be as soft as possible with men, to use padded and flowery language, to be gentle and tender in talking— it’s because most women learn early on that the slightest sign of discontent, of anger, of displeasure from women means repercussions from men.”— Dominique Matti, twitter.com
“Society is always looking for ‘tangible’ ways to tell you what your gender is.”— Shirin Choudhary, youthkiawaaz.com
“Money is intrinsic to our sexual politics,” said Scott. “And it seems that no matter how enlightened we’ve become, the desire for men to get the check is an irresistible force deeply ingrained in our culture. It’s like the last vestige of a dated notion of chivalry, being carried out ad hoc by men a…”— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com
“Look, I’m a feminist or whatever, but I still like it when a guy picks up the check on a date. I understand that in our post-gender, social-justice millennial era, the idea of subscribing to traditional gender roles in a relationship makes you an honorary fascist, and yet, I can’t help getting wet w…”— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com
“Essentially, being the payer and the paid-for on a date replicates actual dom-sub sexual dynamics. But being a sub isn’t about not being in control—it’s about being in control of not being in control. There’s still power in relinquishing power.”— Karley Sciortino, vogue.com