“Friend: Are you okay? You seem distant and distraught. Me: I ran out of Oreos.”— Unknown, instagram.com
“I've been deleting and reactivating Tinder for six years. You know you've had a dating app for too long when you start noticing people's personal growth. When you're swiping through like 'oh cool, Freddie420 went to grad school after all.'”— Dina Hashem, facebook.com
“Alyssa: Guess what freedom smells like? James: What? Alyssa: Cow shit.”— Charlie Covell, Alyssa, Jessica Barden, imdb.com
“I actually masturbated once a week for medical purposes. I knew it wasn't good to let things build up.”— Charlie Covell, James, Alex Lawther, imdb.com
“I didn't know where we were going or when I was going to kill her, but I punched my dad in the face and stole his car and that felt like a good place to start.”— Charlie Covell, James, Alex Lawther, imdb.com
“It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“6. He makes you feel like you are a major part of his life. That’s nice—but the world is spiraling out of control. Are dating articles even relevant? Do people read things for fun anymore? Do people feel anything other than anger and panic these days? Is Mercury in retrograde? Does love even mean an…”— Katie Mather, thoughtcatalog.com
“1. He goes out of his way to spend time with you. Do you want that though? You’ve been panicking a lot and screaming into various voids and Twitter is just a dumpster fire of information and anger and every morning you dread looking at the internet, so are you even sure you want someone, like, on to…”— Katie Mather, thoughtcatalog.com
“You’re not supposed to talk about suicide. You should be able to talk about it! The whole world is made of people who DIDN’T kill themselves today... life can get very difficult, very sad, very upsetting, but you don’t have to do it. You really don’t have to do it ... because you can kill yourself.”— Louis CK, theatlantic.com
“Chandler: 'Condoms?' Joey: 'We don’t know how long we’re gonna be stuck here. We might have to repopulate the world.' Chandler: 'And condoms are the way to do that?'”— Joey Tribbiani, Chandler Bing, amazon.com
“How I Stopped Using Mirrors and Started Stealing Glances of Myself in Reflective Buildings”— Reductress, reductress.com
“Wow! This Woman Rewards Her Three Minutes Of Work With Full Two Hours Of Stalking Her Ex”— Reductress, reductress.com