“I was going to give you a nasty look, but I see that you’ve already got one.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Your family tree must be a cactus, ’cause you’re all a bunch of pricks.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“You have the right to remain silent because whatever you say will probably be stupid, anyway.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“The village called. They’d like their idiot back. You better get going.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“I’d tell you how I really feel, but I wasn’t born with enough middle fingers to express myself in this case.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“I was hoping for a battle of wits, but it would be wrong to attack someone who’s totally unarmed.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“It’s kind of hilarious watching you try to fit your entire vocabulary into one sentence.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Whenever we hang out, I remember that God really does have a sense of humor.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“There are some remarkably dumb people in this world. Thanks for helping me understand that.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“Are you always such an idiot, or do you just show off when I’m around?”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com
“The only way you’ll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chicken’s ass and wait.”— Unknown, thoughtcatalog.com