Quotes tagged ‘Sex’

(1968 total)

“I know roses are the traditional Vanetine's Day offering but a canister of whipped cream might be nice addition to spice things up.”

“Bitter cold coming to NE this Valentine's Day mean less time in restaurants more time under covers. You may need to expand your playbook.”

“You'll see some great moves at tonight's NBA All-Star game but you know what, none really work in bed. Cross-over sex, not really.”

“You know one of the best things about sex? It's not hackable even when using a backdoor!”

“A reminder to all you single ladies, Mon.2/29, Sadie Hawkins Day. Only once in 4 yrs can you use the calendar to ask a man out.”

“Following elections can lead to high blood pressure which leads to erecile problems so for sake of your sex life, don't follow elections.”

“Is sex different on Leap Day? I'm not telling, you have to try it for yourself!”

“Just because tomorrow is Super Tuesday, don't let that put pressure on your sex life. Even non-super sex is pretty good.”

“The clocks are changing Sat nite, so it's the shortest of the year. Doesn't mean you don't have time for more than a quickie though!”

“If you're too young to have made love with In The Still of the Night playing in background you should try it.”

“I could probably talk penis size 24/7/365 and still not get through some thick skulls. It's all your skills at sex that count!”

“What position should you use on #NationalPuppyDay? Any one that makes you smile.”

“Did you know that in ancient Jewish texts it says if a man gives his wife an orgasm before he ejaculates he'll be blessed with a son?”

“April Fools Day is only two days away! Bet you can't wait, can you? What, you don't like to fool around?”

“Study says more than half of Brits more excited by football than sex. Watching someone else score goal more exciting than scoring an orgasm?”

“So today is National Beer Day. Don't celebrate so heartily that it becomes National No Sex Day.”

“Someone declared July 31st National Orgasm Day. How terrible... everyday should be orgasm day!”

“Serious note, Zika virus can be transmitted through sex so not just pregnant women need to be careful but their partners as well.”

“Today is National Scrabble Day. One thing I know is there's 3 letter word worth a lot of points both on and off the board. Can you guess?”

“I used to tell people not to watch Johnny if it interrupted their sex life but tonight is different since I'm on!”