“Would I rather be feared or loved? Easy, both. I want people to be afraid of how much they love me.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Sometimes I start a sentence and don't even know where it's going. I just hope I find it along the way.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Guess what, I have flaws. What are they? Oh, I don't know. I sing in the shower. Sometimes I spend too much time volunteering. Occasionally I'll hit somebody with my car. So sue me... No, don't sue me. That is the opposite of the point that I'm trying to make.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Why be a dad when you can be a fun uncle ? I've never heard of anyone rebelling against their fun uncle.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Can I just say that of all the idiots in all the idiot villages in all the idiot worlds, you stand alone, my friend.”— Michael, amazon.com
“By the end of the fourth grade, the lunch lady was actually the person I hung out with the most.”— Michael, amazon.com
“One thing you need to know about me, I don't quit, until something tears or pops.”— Dwight, amazon.com
“I don't need the woods, I have a nice wood desk. And I don't need fresh air, I have the freshest air around, A.C.”— Michael, amazon.com
“Jim: "Question: What kind of bear is best?" Dwight: "That's a ridiculous question." Jim: "False. Black bear.”— Jim And Dwight, amazon.com