“Here’s to the women we’ve met, and to the women we’ve fucked, And to those amongst us who’ve had no such luck. Here’s to beer in the glass, and vodka in the cup, Here’s to pokin’ her in the ass, so she won’t get knocked up. Here’s to all of you, and here’s to me, Together as friends we’ll always be,…”— Tucker Max, amazon.com
“Random Girl after a hookup: "Do you love me" Tucker: "I don't understand the question.”— Tucker Max, amazon.com
“You look like the type of people who would criticize a misspelling in a suicide note.”— Tucker Max, amazon.com
“I never understand why women think drama and bullshit are attractive to guys. They’re not. I’m going to be real clear about this, ladies, so pay attention: Prince Charming doesn't come to rescue cunty lunatics.”— Tucker Max, amazon.com