“Robyn wouldn't piss on your gums if your teeth were on fire.”— Shawn Schepps, Matt Wilson, Michael DeLuise, imdb.com
“Dave: Stop! Stop, where did you go? You just took off after school. Do you know how worried I've been? Stoney: God, Dave, you sound like my Mom. Dave: God, you can't do that to me. [looking more closely at Link] Dave: What's on his nose? Stoney: Ya know what, Dave, just chill, 'cause you know why? L…”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“The only thing you ever cared about, Stoney, was nugs, chillin', and grindage.”— Shawn Schepps, Dave Morgan, Sean Astin, imdb.com
“Stoney: [a car horn is heard] Your parents! Dave: My parents! Link: AHH.”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“Stoney: Far too much responsibility for me, anyways, I'm already popular! Dave: Yeah, you travel in large groups of one, Stoney.”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“Dave: Matt Wilson? I mean, what a jerk! What does she see in him, anyway? Stoney: Well, he's got the buff spikes chillin' on top of his melon, obviously, right?—dude, he's checking her cheeks! oh oh!—he's got the serious beak, and his own personal holding company full of fundage, bro, that he weases…”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“[after Link enters the driver’s seat of the Student Driver Car] Oh God, Rad Mobile.”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“Stoney: Look, Dave, you're gonna have to just mellow out, bro, on this whole Robyn thing, she always shines you. Dave: You don't understand; we have history. Stoney: Hey, you had history: pre-freshman history. Could've had her back then, man. Dave: She hadn't hit babehood yet.”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“Dave: He melted... Stoney: Dave, it wasn't meant to happen. Come on, I'll go buy you some Ho-Ho's.”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“Stoney: Um, Robyn Sweeney, bro? She's not going to the prom with you, man. I wish she would, but she's really not. Dave: What are you talking about? Robyn Sweeney is mine. She's become a major babe, and she loves me. Stoney: She finds you crusty, Dave. Dave: I'll convince her! She'll see the truth.…”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com
“If you're edged 'cause I'm weazin' all your grindage, just chill. 'Cause if I had the whole Brady Bunch thing happenin' at my pad, I'd go grind over there, so don’t tax my gig so hardcore, cruster.”— Shawn Schepps, Stoney Brown, Pauly Shore, imdb.com