19 Of The Best Marshall Eriksen Quotes From 'How I Met Your Mother'

“It's fascinating how profoundly little I know about vaginas.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Show us the onion volcano, the fried rice beating heart, the shrimp in the pocket.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“You have to let me dance my own battles!”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Hey I have given up peeing in the shower for you!”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Lily: We're not going to Italy. Marshall: Of course we are. Lily we have to do this. You're gonna live in Rome and you're gonna get your dream because you're giving me mine, again.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Why does he keep doing this? He meets them. He likes them way too much. He goes way too big too soon. He ends up blowing it. I can't take this any more. He's fallen in love so many times now.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Yeah, I'm scared, ok? But when I think about spending the rest of my life with Lily. Committing forever with no other women, it doesn't scare me at all. I'm marrying that girl.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Paper cut...Death is all around us.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“This is a pie chart describing my favorite bars. And this is a bar graph describing my favorite pies.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“It's a little late but WHAT THE BALLS IS THIS?”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“I believe in you. I honor your body's wisdom. Your womb is a temple”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“You're gonna love the park buddy. It's a great place to meet chicks. Or dudes. Or both. Oh we love you no matter what!”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Hey baby, it's me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Being in a relationship is hard. And committing, making sacrifices it's hard. But if it's the right person, it's easy. Looking at that girl, and knowing she's all you really want out of life, that should be the easiest thing in the world/ And if it's not like that then she's not the one.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Here's the thing, Barney. I'm snuggly. You're not. Who wouldn't want to snuggle up next to this business on a Sunday morning? Wrapped in comfort and it's raining outside and there's muffins warming in the oven. I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“She's never seen Star Wars?! Ted, the only people in the universe who haven't seen Star Wars are the characters in Star Wars. And that's cause they lived them, Ted! That's cause they lived the Star Wars.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I’m sick, you’re sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing on the eggs before she cooks them, it’s called Eggs Marshall and it’s awesome. But t…”

— Marshall, amazon.com

“I’ve never asked Lily to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from her.”

— Marshall, amazon.com