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Quotes tagged ‘HIMYM’

(30 total)

Marshall: I vow to always sit next to you and hug you, even if you're covered in vomit, Whether it's yours or Marvin's, or in the case of what came to be known as Spew Year's Eve 1998—My own. Lily: I vow to stop getting so angry… Marshall: Ooh, I just thought of another one. Lily: …when you interrup…

— Marshall Eriksen, Lily Aldrin, amazon.com

A lie is just a really great story that someone ruined with the truth.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Here’s the mini-cherry on top of the regular cherry on top of the sundae of awesomeness that is my life.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Suits are full of joy. They’re the sartorial equivalent of a baby’s smile.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Do you have some puritanical hang up on prostitution? Dude, it’s the world’s oldest profession.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Oh right, because there can be too many of something wonderful. Hey Babe Ruth, easy big fella, let’s not hit too many homers. Hey Steve Gutenberg, maybe just make three Police Academy movies. America’s laughed enough.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

God, it’s me, Barney. What up? I know we don’t talk much, but I know a lot of girls call out your name because of me.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

In my body, where the shame gland should be, there is a second awesome gland. True story.

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

It’s gonna be legend-... wait for it… and I hope you’re not lactose intolerant because the second half of that word is DAIRY!

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Okay, pep talk! You can do this, but to be more accurate, you probably can’t. You’re way out of practice and she’s way too hot for you. So, remember, it’s not about scoring. It’s about believing you can do it, even though you probably can’t. Go get ‘em, tiger!

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Think of me like Yoda, but instead of being little and green I wear suits and I’m awesome. I’m your bro—I’m Broda!

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

Barney Stinson: I had to look away because if I watched what the paramedics were about to do, I would've passed out. Then they took out this electric blade thing, and I kept thinking "this isn't happening, this isn't happening!" Lily Aldrin: Oh my god, what did they cut? Barney Stinson: My suit, my…

— Barney Stinson, amazon.com

It's fascinating how profoundly little I know about vaginas.

— Marshall, amazon.com

Show us the onion volcano, the fried rice beating heart, the shrimp in the pocket.

— Marshall, amazon.com

Paper cut...Death is all around us.

— Marshall, amazon.com

You're gonna love the park buddy. It's a great place to meet chicks. Or dudes. Or both. Oh we love you no matter what!

— Marshall, amazon.com

Hey baby, it's me. Can you bail me out of jail? I thought I saw big foot in Central Park so I tackled him. But it turned out to be Russell Brand.

— Marshall, amazon.com

Love died. The love that made you all believe in love, that's dead now.

— Marshall, amazon.com

Lily, there are a million reasons why I love you. You make me laugh, you take care of me when I’m sick, you’re sweet, caring and you even created an egg dish and named it after me. She puts a little Italian dressing on the eggs before she cooks them, it’s called Eggs Marshall and it’s awesome. But t…

— Marshall, amazon.com

I’ve never asked Lily to do anything ‘no questions asked’ because I never wanted to. She’s the love of my life. I never keep anything from her.

— Marshall, amazon.com

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