To Beatrice – My love flew like a butterfly, until death swooped down like a bat.
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Daniel Handler
Daniel Handler (born February 28, 1970) is an American writer, musician and journalist. He is best known for his work under the pen name Lemony Snicket, having published children's series A Series of Unfortunate Events and All the Wrong Questions under this pseudonym. He has also published adult novels under his real name; his first book The Basic Eight was rejected by many publishers for its dark subject matter. His most recent book is All the Dirty Parts. Handler has also played the accordion in several bands. 2Personal life Handler was born in San Francisco, California, the son of Sandra Handler (née Walpole) a retired City College of San Francisco Dean, and Louis Handler, an accountant. His father was a Jewish refugee from Germany, and he is distantly related to British writer Hugh Walpole through his mother. He has a younger sister, Rebecca Handler. Handler has been a voracious reader since childhood, and his favorite author was William Keepers Maxwell, Jr. He attended Commodore Sloat Elementary, Herbert Hoover Middle School, and Lowell High Schoo
Your cruelty is as sweet as this coffee I’m dumping the sugar into.
In a world both frightening and unlucky, there are a few comforts. One of them is making new friends. Friends can make you feel the world is smaller and safer than it really is, because you know people who have similar experiences. When you meet people like that, you may find your world feels a…
Poor little orphan. Haven’t you learned anything this year? Week? Season?
Unless you are a murderer or a taxidermist, it is rare to have actual skeletons in your closet as opposed to metaphorical ones.
Girls were falling all over me in school, and not just because I would extend my leg when they walked by. I was a lone wolf, a mysterious stranger, a member of the drama club.
In every library, there is a single book to answer the question that burns like a fire in the mind.
The whole world is cruel. School is just a microcosm.
In a world too often governed by corruption and arrogance, it can be difficult to stay true to one’s literary and philosophical principles.
Genius ideas are simple, like the wheel or neurosurgery.
If you have ever lost a friend, you know that it makes your world feel incomplete, like a puzzle with a piece missing, or one half of a broken spyglass.
My body is a temple, young man. I would never sully my skin the way so many young people do nowadays with their hedonistic lifestyle of loud music and abstinence.
My whole life is just going around and around in circles. Like one of those things a hamster plays on before you put it in the oven.
Sitting with friends, talking about something important is one of the most powerful and necessary forces in the world. It is the way so many noble organizations begin, with a conversation between associates or even brothers.
This school has a new kind of spirit energy. A sense of unity and joy which you usually cannot find unless you are at a birthday party or a public hanging.
Does this seem like a nightmare? A bad dream? Because that’s the effect I was going for.
My brother once said suspicious activity is like good jazz. We’ll know it when we hear it.
Starving people can’t eat money. Plus, if we give money to poor people, then they won’t be poor anymore, and we won’t have anyone to feel sorry for.
The phrase 'in the dark,' which I’m sure you know, can refer to not only one’s shadowy surroundings, but also to the secrets which might be surrounding you, too. Every day, the sun goes down over all of these secrets, so everyone is in the dark in one way or another.
It may be difficult to believe, but, at any given moment, someone somewhere is in a dangerous situation and other people in some other place are dancing and having a good time. The world is often like this. A celebration here, terrible trouble just outside the door.