“Oh, Charlie, you make me feel bigger than Janis Joplin! When she was alive, that is.”Tagged: janis joplin, Postmortem
“Loretta Haggers: Y'know, Mary's been seeming kind of piqued lately, and I think I just stumbled on the truth of it. Mary Hartman ain't gettin' enough Vitamin L from her man Tom. Charlie Haggers: Vitamin L? Loretta Haggers: Vitamin Love. I think I oughtta write a song about that.”Tagged: Vitamin L, Love, Vitamin Love, Country Music
“Charlie, honey, you gotta quit treating me like I'm some puny little heifer, honey, just 'cause I'm the teensiest littlest bit pregnant. Now, listen, I come from very hardy stock. A half hour before my grandmother birthed her thirteenth young'un, she was unloading 100-pound bags of fertilizer off…”Tagged: Country Folk, Pickup Truck, Pregnancy
“Charlie Haggers: I wouldn't take no trip without some kind of protection. You never know what's lurkin' around out there, Loretta. I mean, be prepared, that's my motto. Be prepared. Loretta Haggers: Isn't that somebody else's motto, too? Charlie Haggers: The Boy Scouts of America. They don't fool…”Tagged: be prepared, boy scouts of america
“Loretta Haggers: [regains consciousness, groggy] What happened? Charlie Haggers: Oh, honey, we had an accident, hit a station wagon full of nuns. Loretta Haggers: A station wagon full of nuns? Is that a sin? Charlie Haggers: Well, baby, if you're Catholic, but we're not Catholic. Loretta Haggers:…”Tagged: Nuns, Catholic, Sin
“Charlie Haggers: You really planning to sell that fella's song for him in Nashville? Loretta Haggers: Yeah, I got to, y'know, I gave him my word. Charlie Haggers: That's a terrible song! And after what he had in mind to do to you. Loretta Haggers: Oh, honey, both he and his song are just sickeningly…”Tagged: Nashville, Music Industry, Sexual Harassment, Bad Choices