“My best friend regularly obsesses about her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend, who was a "squirter," and therefore the real-life incarnate of many men's fantasy partner. Porn has encouraged men to believe that when they've truly rocked a woman's body, it starts doing an impression of the Bellagio Fountain in the second-to-last scene of Ocean's Eleven.

The average woman, myself included, doesn't know whether squirting is real or fake beyond your standard urban legends, like, "Ashley's friend's ex's friend's aunt's babysitter's college roommate squirts," which does not count.”