“Steve, it's a beautiful afternoon. Shouldn't you be outside with your friends turning my tool shed into Mordor or Endor or... something heartbreaking?”
More from Brian Boyle
“So kids, if you want presents from Schmanta this year, don't put out milk and cookies, put…”
“In a hundred years, when there’s a million jerks riding around Manhattan drunk in limos,…”
“Sorry I took so long. I farted pulling into the driveway and I just wanted to enjoy it for…”
“An above ground sprinkler on the front lawn! No sir! What's next, prostitutes rising out…”