"Look, I need you to calmly put the phone down and tell her I..." — Chris Niel

Quote
Catalog

Look, I need you to calmly put the phone down and tell her I do not work there and you have never heard of me.

— Chris Niel, Vincent Swan, and Ed Westwick

Salesmen Are Like Vampires

Lie

More from Chris Niel

View all quotes

Quote
Catalog

Nothing is certain in life except death and taxes. You know who said that? Some fucking…

Quote
Catalog

You and your student comrades might want to go and live in Russia but, here, in the free…

Quote
Catalog

Also, the proud owner of a massive penis which he loves to unfurl at any given…

Quote
Catalog

It’s about time you made me a partner and don’t give me any grief, all right? I’ve already…

           WKM               &WK             W W         M      W      WWW WKW          W W            W           W       W K&W  WM  &WK  W
           W&W W WKW W WKW    W  W WKW WMW   W W WWW W W WW WWW  WW&   MW   &W   W W W &W WW W W W W   W W W  WW   W W W   M W&MWMWKW  W   W W WK
           W   W WKW W W W    W  WW &K WKW   W W WKW W W WW  MW  MMW   MWW W W   W W W MW WW W W W W   W W W WWW&  W W W   WK&&W  WMW W    W W WK
                                 WK

            WWM W        W                              W           K               KWW KW W&&          W &                         K               W
           W  W W WW W&W W W&W  WM   W&KMW MWW W&W WMKW&W    WM W&W W W W WKW W&W   WW   W WKM   WMW&W  W WW W&W WKW   W W WW&WW W& W W&W W&W    KW W&W WMW
           W  W W WWKW&W W WKW  WWK  W WWWKW   W W W W  W    WW W&W W W W W W W W   &WWW W M W   W W W KW WW W W W W   WW WWM&W  WWWW W W W W     W W W W&W
            K&    KK  K     K   K        K  KK  &            K   K            WWW    W      &                 &             K     K    &      W   K      M

           MWW                        MM                                 K   W
           W   WM& WW WW WM  MW W W   W W WM WW   &MW M W WW W W W WMM W&W  KW WM WW &WWMW   MWW W&W W W&W W WW  WWW  MMW W W W W&W W   W WWW   WMM  WMWW W W W WW&W  W
           W & WKWK& W & W&W MW WMW   W W W MKW&  W W WWKW  WW WMWKW WWK W   W W W  WW &K W  W   W W W W W WW  WW  W  K&W W W W W W W   W W WM  W W  WW  WKWWWW W&W WW
           W   W&M   M W W&K MM  W    W&M M  MM    MW  W  WW    W  MM  WMM   M M  WW          WW W&W W W&M   WW  WWW   MM W KMW M M W   M  WW   W  WWKK  & W W  WMW WK
                                K                                                                                K                                                  K

            WW W& WW M W M WW   M  M&   & K MM W    WKWW WW   W W W W W W WWW   WW WW WW   M W MMW   KWM WMW   WKW M M W&  MM     W WW  WW  WW  WW MW
           W   W W  WWWWWWKM W  W W W WWWW W W W    W W  WW    W  W MK MW W MW  W WWKWKK W WKM W WK  W W W W   WW& W W WW W W     WWWKWW  WW  WW&MWW
           WWW W &WW  W W    W  W W&W && W &MW W W  & KW WW   WWW WWW WWW KWW   W  WWK W WMW   W &   WMW W W   W M  W  WM MMW   WWK WMK&  WM  W WW W
                                W                                                                                  M

            & MW&  KK W&WW  K     K    W  KW WK   & WW      &   M   &     &WM    K  & W W &    &    WWW WMM WWW    K K  WW W W &K   &     W  &   M  K& WWM    WW
           WWM&W W WW&W M WWMWWK WKW W W   W W W W&W W  &W W&W W K W W W W W&  WKW WW W W WM  W&W   KWW MKW W  W  W W W WM W WW  WW MW    W W&W W KWK WWW W   WW
           WMW&& WWWWMWW W WM W  W&M W&W   W W W W&W W  && W&W WMW WMW W WMW&   W W W WKW KW  WKW   WWW WMW WWW   W W W WM W WMWWKW  W  WWW W&W WWW WWWWWWW  WWWW


           &WWW                       M M
           W    W W     W &WW WWW WWW W WWW&WWWWW
           WWMW W W W   W &WK WKW W&W W WWM&WW  W






                                                                                           &KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK           KK&&MM&M&KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK&&&&&&&&&K

              } } }         }      *  * *   *     *   * *  * *    *               * *       } *             * *       *         }             }
              }           *     }           }       *   *  }          }                             *     *         }                 *
                                                    *   }      }              *                           *         }                       }
           }   }  }  } } *    *     *   **   }}      * *   } *    }         }    * * *  * *   }  * *    *  *  *    * * *   *  }   **        } }

                                                                         }             *                    }                        }
             }      *   * *       }           }   *            *         *                                  *                        *
               } *                          * *             }      }     }   }                *             }                  *             *   }
              }              }                 *                      *          }              *     *}     *      *                 }
                                                                               *
                      **             }                        }                                           }
                        *      *                                  }           *                                            *       }
                               *                          }                                    *          }       *
                                                      *     }                    }  } }                     }

                                 }                            }     }                                                    }
                                 }                                                }                               }      }                    }}
             }                       }                 }   *               }                                }            }
              }                  }              }                                       }                   }         }  }     }   *     }

                                                                                    *                                   }    }
                                   }                       }         }*  }                         }                                                      }
                }                                                                                                           }  }
                                    *     }           }           }                                                                }


                            *  }   }   }  *}   }
                   }                   }
                   }             }
                    }          }    * } * *}    ***





             }}        }}}}}}}}}}

                                V             U                       j               jo   o                              U j    o  VV
                o   U U               j       U       V         j        o      j U V V     o V j V     o   Uj  V     V     V                 U
              j     U     o                 j o V          VU         V     V   j     V     o V o   o   o                       UV            U
                                                                        U

           o                  oU                                      U U                             oo   U                                      U
                 j            VU          U               ojo      o j U         j    o         j     VV              j   V     j  o
            Vo          j U    j             o    U   U   Uo   U                 j              j     U         o   j    j           j   o    j        j
                U      U V o     U   V  U        V V  UVV     U   U jV Uj V V       j V  V o j   o V V  V oj   o V o    U  U  o  V  o   o U V      jU U o o

              j                         V                    V                o                      j     V              j         o   o
             j    V  U     Uo        U      o  j     j   j  V V                  V  V     o         o     j o  oV        j           j j j         oj    V           U
            U j       U o   j        U j           V j        V     U                 j  U        U     U                                          oo  jV      o
                  oV    j   j        j      V  o  V          Uj      U               U VooU  V        j    U    V     U    o         V   VU       j    jj     jj
                                                                                                                  U                                                U
                                o              o    j          V   V   Vj  oo                                  o  j    jV         o
           U     j        j  o    V  jVj   o            j      j   j j o j   V       j  oU  o V                       j   V           oU  jU         V
                   o             j V      j V j      U  V       U                       U               U           o      V o oo       Uj  Vo
                    j     UU            j            V  U  j             j   j    j   o     VU    V               U                     V   jj V  o
                                                                                                                    V
                                                                                                     U
           o j             U  jUjj   VU     j  j V      jUV  o o o V   UV      V   U U V U    j o              o  V o V   U j     VU        V j V j          o  o
                  o      U      j   U     j         V         V   U   V           V  V   o                    U           V     o  V    j      V             V  U
                        U V  V j            j   j   j                 V        U     U             j   j       j          V j       U              U
                                                                                                     j

                 j       j           o
                 U     V U   j       V
                 U     V U             j      jj UV
             j   j       j





               jjjjjjjj          jjjjjooooojjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjjooooooooojooooooojojo                       UUUUUUUUUUU                                          U

    K             M   K     &     K M         K     &

                                  M      &                   K

               &
                                             K

             K                                K
                                        K                      K
                                      K K               K   K  M

            &   K


                                                    K
               WW       &W  K        &          M KKMW&      K&MMWWK
                         W MWWW   W            KMKWM   K
                         WWWWWK WWW  &          &  KK&
             W           WWWWWWWW&   &    WWWW     K  &
                        WWWWWWWWWWW  K    WWWW          &&&&  &
     WWW W              WWWWWWWWWWW  KMWKWWWWWWKWM  K K &M&&K&&K
       WWWW             WWWWWWMMWWW   WWMWWWWWWW W         K   K
     WWWWWW            WWWWWWWWWWWW   WMWWWWWWWW&M         &WK K K&
      KMWWWW    W     &WWWWWWWWWWWW       &WWWW     K     WWWMK
        WWWWW   WW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW         WW      WWWM &WW&KMW
         WWWWW  MW   WWWWWWWWWWWWWW                  MWWM&K    K  KM
         KWWW        WWWWWWWMWWWWWW      KMWWWWWK       &MWKK  W   M
          WM    &W&WWMWWWWWWWWWWWMW     KWWWWWWWM       &KK    K  K
         &MM   MWMWKKKK&WWW&&KK&&MW     KWWWWWWWW              MM K

           .                   :
    ,   .       :  .: ,.:         , ,.,. :.   :   , :  .:
              .        :         :
    , ,  , :   . ,: ,,  : :,, .  .  ,:... .  ., , :.:  ,   ,
                      :  :            ,       :   :  ,
        :  :     :   ,    :   , : , .          :   : ,
                 : ,   ,            ,  .:     ,

    :  ,: :: :.    .: .: :,  : ,,   ,        . ,   : .   ,:
                               :
      .,  .,, . :,,
        ,           .


    .,::,,,,,,:   ::,,..   ..   ...
    : :::::::      :,:,.
    ::,:,,,,,,: ::,,,.,
    : ::::::, .:,,,,,.. ,                                 .    ,
    ::        ,.,,,,..             :                         ,
    , ..      :.,,,...,,                       :   .
        ,  :  :,.    ,
    ..         :,,,                 .
            ,  :,:   ,              :
     ,      :,.     :               .          :
      .             .               .     .   .
    ::,,                            .     ::  ,.  .
    ::,::           ,               .
    ::: ,                           .             :
    ,   ,                           ,  .

     }    *  * <     } * *   *  }  } <     <         *  }
       <     }    ~       ~ ~ ~             <            ~
        }}  }*   *~}}*  }}    **<   }}~ * } *}<<<  ** } <
     * <~ ~  <  ~  *  <  ~   <  } }      ~ ~~    <   <~ * ~ <*
     * *<} <<<   ~   } *  } < * <**  *   < ~~} * * }   <~<}~}  < *}
    <  < *  <  }*     ~*}< <<~ ~ * < << ~} ~~ ~ }*} * ~<~~~}~< }  <
    <~**~~*< }~~* }   <   ***   *< ~ *}  ~}  *  <*   <*<}~<*
    }~* } *~  }}   ~  *   << <  < }*}<<<<<<~<< ~*  }  < <  ~
     <}     ~    *   *  ~  ~~ *  ~}}  ~  ***< <  << ~  <~  <}<
    } }     <    }}  }**    *      **~   } }*<*< } }**~}  ~     }
    <*         <
     }    <       }


                 ~      <<          <        }}}}*
     ~       ~<  *~        *  <
               ~        } <    *    <                             **
     ~                         <   ~}                    ~  }   }*
      ~~ ~*                       ~ }          }        < *}~ < } *
        } ~*}}                     *<               *          *<
          < <~                      ~                           }~
            ~~~    ~   ~
             ~<   *~<                                }        }
    <             <<                 * * <      ~ }<    }         ~
    ~~       }    }<                 *<    <   ~  }
               }  *                  }~*}       }* <
             <  ~                     ~           ~} }        *
       ~                              }~           *}~*       *
     ~~~    }                         *          }} * }       *    }

      Vjoj  U o V  oj   j V   V  j    jV Vo U  j UUU  jj j

    oUjV  Uo   jV     V   oojU     o   j   V     Vj  U j  VUo
                               j
    U o   j     o o o   V  o j o   j   oj V     j   o j      jj U
      V   o  V    o j                  o  j                   V UV
                     U   o   oU   j         j  j    o
       j o      jjj  o j V  o j  U               V  oo o jj
         j     o  j                             o
     V ooVVo VoV   VV   Vjjo jj Uoj       j     U V      o o o

    o oo j j VUo o o


               jU                    ojjjjjjj     oU ojjoooooooVVVj
                             j U    j UUUUUVVVoo U     VUUUUU
                                 V V UVVVVVVooo     jUU UUUUUVojoj
             j                        VVVVVojojo jj   Uo          oV
        j  jU           U             UUVV    j Voo VV V         o V
     V   U                            VVVV    U      jjU    oU   joV
    o                              U              oU V U          oo
      j             oo             o o          U UUoUVUVUU UVV jjoj
    o      j                       j V            jjo oUVoU     o  j
               j V   o             o  U j        j   ooV U     oVo
       o       U                   o   UUo      UV o    o       UoUV
        V                          V     j  VV      V      UVUj oV
                 U                 V j  o        V  o VU     U  oUU
         o  o                      U o           o     V   UVV  oV V
              U                    o j             j j oVVUojj   j