“Heywood leads the league in most offensive categories, including nose hair. When this guy sneezes, he looks like a party favor.”
More from David S. Ward
“Haywood swings and crushes this one toward South America. Tomlinson is gonna need a visa…”
“You may run like Hayes. but you hit like shit.”
“Harry Doyle: [before the playoff game] Monty, anything to add? Color Man: Ummm...no. Harry…”
“In case you haven’t noticed, and judging by the attendance you haven’t, the Indians have…”