“Licensed to kill gophers by the government of the United Nations. A man, free to kill gophers at will. To kill, you must know your enemy, and in this case my enemy is a varmint. And a varmint will never quit—ever. They're like the Viet Cong—Varmint Cong. So you have to fall back on superior intelligence and superior firepower. And that's all she wrote.”
More from Douglas Kenney
“Well I won't be a caddy all my life, I'm going to car wash school in the fall.”
“You know, I've often thought of becoming a golf club.”
“Cinderella story. Outta nowhere. A former greenskeeper, now, about to become the Masters…”
“his crowd has gone deadly silent, a Cinderella story outta nowhere. Former greenskeeper…”