“Just remember, every time you look up at the moon, I, too, will be looking at a moon. Not the same moon, obviously, That’s impossible.”
More from Harris Wittels
“Jogging is the worst. I know it keeps you healthy, but God, at what cost?”
“Put some alcohol in your mouth to block with words from coming out.”
“Strippers do nothing for me…but I will take a free breakfast buffet anytime, anyplace.”
“Breakfast food can serve many purposes.”